A tragic loss of life

If you recall, I wrote the other night about my nephew, Tommy, taking his own life in late January. He just turned 34 at the end of October, much too young to die. His mom died of cancer on CHRISTmas Eve 2002 and he pretty much lost touch with his family since then. I had his e-mail address and would write every now and again just to check in. When his grandma died in August of 2007 he had not checked his e-mail for a while and totally missed getting the message. From that time on he gave me his cell phone number and he already had mine, so we could keep in touch.

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He did that during the summer when he called me to get a recipe. Yes, you read that correctly---he wanted a recipe from me!!!! He was hungry for a family favorite called "Hamburger Corn Pone Pie" and amazingly so, I laid my hands on it immediately for him. He filled me in, joyously, on the new lady in his life and her children. Tommy had big plans for putting in landscaping around their shared home, and I was looking up the plants he was talking about as we spoke, so I did not sound toooooo uniformed. He was just like his mother, talking endlessly about little of substance for over an hour. I did manage to throw a caution about jumping into anything, etc. with his "fiance" but did encourage him as far as settling down and such. He seemed to be on top of the world, at that time.

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On CHRISTmas Day he sent me a late night text message wishing me a Merry CHRISTmas and told me how much he liked the new bench grinder his fiance, Jeanna, had given him. Around ThanksLiving or so, Tommy asked me to text him my mailing address so he could send a CHRISTmas card so I got his address too, while I was at it. I shared it with Mona in case Arno wished to send a card for CHRISTmas, but I don't know if that happened or not.

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Judy and Tommy Connors from many years ago..........

Justin got the mailing address for Tommy's father who lives in the Detroit area so I can mail him a card. But, what do I say in it?? I can offer sympathy to EJ but he barely knew his son anymore. When last I spoke with EJ, he did not offer any acknowledgement that he was a believer in His Savior, and in fact, had objected to Judy attending worship when they were still married. Judy and EJ were divorced awhile before Judy got sick. What a mess!

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Family has been good about keeping me up to speed on the funeral arrangements and such, plus Justin has an "inside line" to what is going on. Justin indicated that Judy's ashes are going to be buried with Tommy's, which is appropriate. He had kept her ashes with him and had told me he was coming to see me, to spread his mom's ashes in the ocean, which is what she wanted done with them. Tommy never came.

Oh, I am so sad!

Well, I came home to an empty house. At least it is empty for a while. Joanne said she is going to call it a short day and try to get her bedroom straightened away as her daughter, Heather, arrives tomorrow. Another guest to stay at Day's Inn!!! I already washed and dried the sheets after Linda used them and will redress the bed before Heather gets here. This will be the first of Joanne's children that I am meeting and so will be on my best behavior, of course!

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As far as I know, Linda is in the air somewhere over GA about now, heading for Minneapolis. She changes planes there and then flies to MKE to meet Tommy, who is coming on a direct flight from Las Vegas. She arrives about 30 minutes before Tommy does and then they drive home to Manitowoc together, getting home before midnight. Perfect if no one has a flat tire or a storm interferes with either flight. Boy, I miss her already!

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We had such a great morning at Bible study and then lunch with some of the ladies. There was much laughter taking place, to the point where Gretchen made the comment that we were going to make her wet her pants---Linda piped up, "That's why we sit on towels!" which made all of them laugh even more. This was while we were still at church so I encouraged them to go in and use the bathroom before we got to the restaurant. We were discussing our fishing trip and Ethel was telling about Linda and how sick and miserable she was. Tommy had the best time of any of those fishing but the three of us (Justin, Linda, and me) were so ready to go back home! Gives us lots to laugh about now, though.

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Before going in to Bible study, I heard Gretchen calling to me from the parking lot. I parked on the black top and she was on the grass, something she never does. Gretchen had a pink gift bag in her hand which she gave to me! Aw, so sweet.....Inside was a glass heart, flat, with a ribbon through the top for hanging purposes. On the face of the heart were the words: Be still, and know that I am God. I grabbed her around the neck and hugged the stuffings out of her! She knows how "valuable" that particular passage is to me, and so does Linda now after watching the funeral service video yesterday. Wow, can anyone have such great, thoughtful friends as do I????

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Gretchen told me that maybe, just maybe, she would have to think about it, she might watch the funeral service with me. Linda said it was okay, it took her this long to get the courage up to watch it, and is so glad she did. We looked like heck afterward but still..........it always does my heart good to watch the service and hear that amazing message. And it is all I can do to refrain from calling Pete and thanking him for what he did, for us and for the congregation and for the community. Thanks belong to God who gave him the strength and the gift to do so.

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I miss Linda already!

"It's the wood that makes it good..."

Linda and I are sitting once again in front of the TV watching episode upon episode of, yes, "Seinfeld". We just wanted to see a few more chuckles and guffaws before she leaves late this afternoon. Her bags are all packed and ready to go, the sheets are in the washer, and our feet are up. Linda has a lot of leg swelling so whenever we are at home, she keeps her legs up. Funny, but it often seems when the legs go up, her eyes go shut! A couple times now I've awakened her with my outbursts of laughter. She is awake now because "The Roaster" is on which really tickles my funny bone. Jerry ends up in Kramer's apartment because the red light from the rooster on the chicken restaurant was causing Kramer to have problems with his "rods and cones"!!!! That kills me every time!

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Orbitz just called and informed Linda that her flight is on time, and I didn't even see the ring circling her head like on the commercial on TV shows. Now, it is a wonderful service they offer but I would think it would be more helpful to let her know if it is NOT on time. Anyway, time to go to the airport! More later!!!

"Once he leaves the building, he's out of my jurisdiction..."

Linda and I are having an "at home" this afternoon and evening, after enjoying a fine lunch at our favorite creekside restaurant, Clark's Fish Camp. Judy J. went with us and we were able to dine el fresco comfortably, me especially so once the sun shined directly on me. Ahhh, felt so good to be outside again!!

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We are once again ensconced in the family room watching episode upon episode of "Seinfeld" and laughing so loudly that my friend, Judy R., heard us way up in Winona! Judy called to report in---she is back in the USA after spending time in Cancun with dear friends. Sadly, it was not all that warm down there, as it seems the same cold that provoked me to wrath here in FL also disappointed them in MX. The water was always too cold to enjoy at all and the winds kept the air temperature a bit too moderate. Of course, Judy, being a silver lining-type of person, remarked the company, food, drinks, and down time made up for the cool temps!

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Last night Linda and I very much enjoyed the opera, "Turnadot", where we had the privilege of hearing "Nessun Dorma" sung by a professional, which brought me to tears. The sets were beautiful, the acting amazing, the music out of this world, and the whole evening just a wonderful time. It was quite late by the time we got home---it was well after 11:00 pm. Not having had an official dinner before going, we grabbed a midnight snack and headed for bed. We both had a good sleep, with Linda not getting up until nearly 6:30 a.m., late for her, but she still managed to catch the sun rise.

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Since the Bible study is still on "Angels and Demons" which I have finished on Tuesday nights, we stayed home until it was time to leave for church. In the meantime, we looked at some of my "old" photo albums and a scrapbook started a long time ago for Justin. In that scrapbook, a real stretch of the word 'scrapbook' here, were several letters written to Justin by his Auntie Lynn. They are such nice communiques, and so special. In one letter she asked Justin how his baby brother was doing and if Justin had changed any diapers yet. It was so sweet!

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Upon arriving at church, Linda got situated in the fellowship hall while I went to serve as the Greeter with Gretchen. Linda knew enough people and found folks to talk to while I did my thing. The Sunday school kids were singing this a.m. so Suzanne and Janet got them gathered to practice before church, and because they were singing "I Am Jesus' Little Lamb", it worked out great for me to be outside the doors, both during rehearsal and in worship. The kids sang in the very beginning of the service at which point I went into the fellowship hall to take the attendance. The closing hymn today also sent me out the doors as it was "Children of the Heavenly Father", the words of which simply put me away!

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After church I had a nice chat with my classmate's brother, who lives on the boat in Green Cove. The flowers on the altar today were in memory of Timmy's baptism anniversary and he wondered what that was about. I stepped away from my Greeting job to tell him. Linda and I watched the video of the funeral service today and sobbed our eyes out, but were thankful to have done so. This was her first time seeing it, and really enjoyed, as best one can, the service, particularly the sermon message. Never let it be said that the two of us don't know how to have a good time!

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But, we do! After watching the funeral video, we collected ourselves and then returned to our "Seinfeld" marathon that we have been enjoying. Please note: Linda requests watching these episodes, they are not being forced on her. And she laughs just as hard as do I! Love it! Such good laughs at the antics of those goofy people. In one episode, a woman confronted Jerry to ask why Kramer gave her the snub. He shrugged his shoulders and said, "Once he leaves the building, he is out of my jurisdiction." Now, that is darn funny, I don't care who you are!

Laugh, laugh, laugh

That is all that is going on here! Friday, Linda and I went to Scrap 'n Stuff where we met Kelly T. to scrap. We were scrappers!!! That name will come up again later, watch for it!

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Kelly was working on the decorations for the Ladies' Group brunch, pasting hearts onto lace paper placemats. She just adores my tag punch tool and used it to make tags which she attached to goody bags given to all the attendees. She did a fabulous job with the decorations and special centerpieces. Her daughter helped her out last night and again this morning.

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Linda made some Easter cards which her friends at "Ladies' of the Evening" group at First German will make for their shut-ins. They are simply gorgeous, with double stamping, multi-layered mattes, and pretty ribbon tying it all together. Nice! She makes up a couple prototypes of each card and then the ladies take their pre-cut kits and assemble the cards. Such a neat idea and thought-filled, too!

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The time just flew by and before we knew it, it was time to head home to rest up before going to the movies. We had chosen the movie at 4:50 pm and left home in plenty of time to allow for the great difficulty in finding a parking place. I dropped Linda off and she got the tickets while I parked the car. There was no problem finding seats in the theater and we got settled in to enjoy "New In Town". The premise was an up and coming female executive is called upon to visit a plant in none other than New Ulm, MN! Of course, the accent and mannerisms are largely overdone, but darn it, it was us! The opening scenes show four women sitting around a kitchen table doing what? Scrapping!!! The secretary at the corporation, as they drove down the road, asked the executive, "So, are you a scrapper?" We lost it, we just lost it! We noticed another pair of ladies alongside of us as we were leaving the theater and they asked us if we are from MN. We said we were from WI and she was from MN and knew we knew what was so funny. You had to be there, or be from there!!!!

Now I am comforted

Justin checked my tire when he went home on Wednesday night and called to tell me that it was getting pretty low again. This was not a surprise to me but it did make me sad because I absolutely need to have the utmost confidence in my car and its tires! I decided that in the a.m. I was calling David Victor back again to have him refill the tire and then head over to the dealership to get the tire checked out. I had asked Jen where her brother-in-law worked but his shop was more toward the airport so I decided to just stick with my dealership for the tire exam.

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I called Griffin Ford and they said to just come in when the tire is re-filled, that I did not need to fixed appointment (but I did need a "fix" appointment!). Linda decided to come with me and wait while the repair was being made so we could just go out and stay out. We had a nice chat while watching Fox News in the waiting area, but it did not take long for them to figure out that the culprit vexing my bliss was a nail in the tire. They plugged the hole and made it good again, for a slight cost of $10, out the door!

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I felt confident again in my car and off we were on our adventures. We took a ride through some of the areas where I had considered town houses IF I would have to sell my home in The Palace someday, and the headed for Wal-Mart. Earlier in the week I knew I would need a trip up there and asked Linda if I should wait until she got here to do that shopping. She wished to go, too, so we went together in order for me to replace some of my dainties. I also found a red sweater on the sale rack (see that, Mom???) as I did need something more to keep me warm these days. We got our recipe ingredients for the French toast we are making for Saturday's function plus a few other things Linda was hungry for, like yogurt raisins and fresh fruit.

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After our shopping adventure, we stopped in at Great Hang Ups to say "hi" and see who was available to have a bite with us. Dee and Julia took turns joining us at the table, which was the first time Linda had eaten tappan-style at Koko's. It seems the previous times were Sunday buffet or something, and she REALLY liked the meal. We ordered the dinner veggies for lunch and my personal chef always makes me an onion instead of veggies. They looked so good that I shared some of my onion with Linda. We took food home, of course, and Linda is eating her leftovers as I write.

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We spent some time with the ladies in the shop afterward and then headed home, forgetting totally about our planned stop at Scrap 'n Stuff. Once getting the majority of our purchases upstairs, we again wrapped in blankets and watched some more "Seinfeld". Occasionally my outbursts of laughter would shake Linda from her cat naps, but that was okay, too. There are just some things that really tickle my funny bone, the more outrageous the moment, the better. That is one reason I find "Apples to Apples" such a fun game---it begs the absurd!

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Before leaving the house yesterday morning, I had put my country-style ribs in a bath of bbq sauce and plugged in the slow-cooker to do its thing for our comfort foods dinner last night. We were expecting mac 'n cheese, mashed potatoes, my ribs, meatloaf, chicken 'n dumplins', and brownies. Yummy! Linda felt no dinner was complete without dinner rolls so we bought a couple tubes of biscuits which were fresh baked just in time to serve. Sadly, late afternoon, Betty called to say she was not feeling too great and had to miss the dinner. Too bad! Brenda N. had already given her regrets and then called me Wednesday to request prayers on behalf of her brother who was ICU. Ah, now it made sense.

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We had a nice full table of dear friends, though, all ladies except for one very handsome young man....as always, Justin! He loves all these ladies dearly and especially wanted the time with Linda before he left for his pirate adventure this weekend with Jesse and friends. Supposedly they are meeting his friend's fiances' parents down there who will house these creatures and provide seating for a pirate event that takes place annually. When I asked him for the names and phone number of the girl's parents, he said, "Mom............." just like I would say it!

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Back to the table----we ladies laughed and laughed and talked over the top of the others, and laughed some more. It was great! Not to worry, I had plenty of towels to go around in case we laughed too hard..........inside joke there.

As always happens, though, some people had to leave and then soon all were heading out the door. Like I told Linda, it makes me sad when the ladies go home because I want the party to go on and on. But, as Jimmie expressed to Brenda, it is a "school night" so they all had to go home and prepare for the last day of the week. The last day for those NOT in real estate, that is!

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One tragic thing did occur though----just as we were about to sit down to dinner, my phone rang, showing the name of my sister-in-law, Barb, in Green Bay. Thinking it may be about Arno, I took the call. She was calling to tell me that my nephew, Tommy, who is in the Army and stationed in KS, had killed himself. This was so surprising to me as I had just communicated with him at CHRISTmas and he was planning his marriage, and landscaping and such, seemed like he was settling down at bit. Evidently his father had contacted my former spouse with this information, informing him that Tommy had killed himself on or about the 27th of January. Yes, this info was shared on the 5th of February. Not what I would call a close family situation there....

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To my knowledge, I was the one on his mom's side of the family who had semi-regular contact with him any longer which his father most likely did not know. They were estranged since his mother died in late 2002, with minimal contact. Tragedy upon tragedy in that household. While I was talking with Barb, Justin got a call from his father, filling him on the same story. Justin said he did not know if his father knew I had been in communication with Tommy or not, but Nancy, my sister-in-law, knew it, as she called this a.m. to make sure I had heard the news. Her kids wanted to go to the funeral, once the body was returned to Detroit, under the guise of him "being family" but if he had walked in the front door of their home, they would not even know him. I took the opportunity to expound on the value of "living" family and instead of making the trip to Detroit, that they go visit the family that they do have (i.e. Sharon and Grandpa) and re-connect with their siblings/aunts/uncles/cousins!!! I cannot stress it enough, and I have done this in person as well as via e-mail how valuable it is to keep your family around you, physically if possible, every other way available!!!!! Hear me, and hear me well............

Drama and excitement just to get Linda here!

Oh, mercy me! Such drama trying to go to the airport! I shooed the window cleaner out the door and made my way downstairs to go get Linda. Oh, I was so excited about finally getting out the door after all the commotion in the morning! Justin and his co-worker were coming on their lunch break to put the glass shelf back in the window (too heavy and clumsy for me to do alone) and put my office back to rights. Good!

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As I pulled away and up the driveway, it sounded as though my car was running roughly which I attributed to being cold outside. Once I made the turn onto the street, something just did not sound right and I turned off the radio to hear better. Hmmm, what is that noise? As I got down to Kingsley and made the turn, I realized, finally!, that I should pull over and take a look at what was going on. Much to my dismay, I discovered my front right car tire was flat!!! Oh, no!!! First thing I did was call Linda's cell phone and left her a message about being late picking her up. Next, I called Judy J. to see if she could give me a lift to the airport to get Linda. Not to be, she was with another of the members at the Social Security office off Philips Highway. Nuts!

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Fortunately, I had signed up for AAA last year at the urging of my friend, Julia, and am so glad I did. The nice lady informed me that help was on the way and would be with me in less than 45 minutes. I had to stay with my car, however, which meant I would not be able to go get Linda until after my repair or spare put on. In the meantime, I called my friends, the Douglases, and sure enough, they could help me out. The car dealership said they could not "advise" me that it would be safe to use the spare for an airport run, so once the tire was changed, I was going to drive to Douglases & get Carol's car, leaving mine there. Perfect! Linda called to ask what the status was and I told her it would be at least one hour from when my car was fixed to when I would get her. Nuts again!

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I asked Linda to sit tight, or, if she did not wish to wait, she could look for a taxi. The next phone call I got from her, she was in the taxi and heading for my house! Yippee! The AAA guy was just great, made me laugh, telling me the travails of being a Puerto Rican, ending up with two first names! His parents could not decide, so he got both! David Victor, or Victor David, it didn't matter, it was still confusing. When he took my info from the AAA card, he questioned my two last names and I laughed, saying, "And I'm not even Puerto Rican!!" All he did was re-fill the tire, checked thoroughly for leaks and found nothing amiss, then sent me on my way.

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Instead of driving to the airport, I was relieved to just go to the store to get my food for dinner and then head home. While I fully expected to get back well before Linda, I also knew that Justin and Ross would be at home to put things away before we arrived. No worries! But then, Linda called to ask if I was home yet because she was there and my car was not. Nuts! Justin reported that he had been there already and left so poor Linda was standing on the porch waiting for me. I was already in the checkout and knew I would be home in a few minutes so she patiently waited for me---again!

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I was sooooo happy to see Linda and to be home after my wildly frantic morning! Justin had everything nice and tidy, so, good! I carried up my bags and got things put away after helping Linda find her room and get situated. Whew! We spent the rest of the afternoon watching "Seinfeld" while wrapped in blankets! Baby, it's cold outside!!!!