Hoping some of this dust settles.....

Many hours have been spent in recent days on the phone or in person with folks from my church family. Some are dismayed and disappointed about the determination made by the LES Team our congregation hired to help us see "through the trees" regarding adding grades to our preschool or not. If you have missed a few postings, the Team, using gathered facts, figures, individual interviews, discussions with County officials and other area school representatives, plus using the info garnered from the congregational surveys, came to the conclusion that this is not the right time to add grades to our existing preschool.

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While this program has been a long time planned for and discussed since before I even became a member at this church, nothing says "now is the time". Not even the enthusiasm and promise of students from the few parents who had said they wanted a Lutheran grade school. It was vital and important to have this answer come from those who are not personally invested in our congregation, but who ARE invested personally in Christian education in their career choices and the responsibility of doing this work for our Synod and its churches. These men would have done us a great disservice by recommending we go ahead, roll the dice, start a grade school, and then have it fail because we are not able, willing or otherwise, to maintain and support it in coming years. I, too, am saddened by this, but more by what the Team brought to our attention than by the conclusion.

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On Sunday I wrote about the "mirror" held up in front of our congregation and the not-too-pretty reflection we had. Much of this reflection is what now brings the phone calls, meetings and written discussions. I am finding out things I either did not know, or did not want to know (keeping those rose-colored glasses handy!)

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And now I must write a newsletter, using my normally optomistic paint brush. I CAN do that, because, truthfully, I am still looking for the silver lining, the Light our congregation is established in, and reveling in His Light rather than the one which casts the yellowness of jealousy, the red hue of hatred, the green tint of envy, the black tones of sin, the blue tints of sorrow....the whole crayon box that makes up humans. Often crayon cannot be erased. Fortunately, the Heavenly Father has provided the Eraser, the cleanser of all sins and evil, in His Son.

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Tonight, Ash Wednesday, we begin the walk Jesus took as He prepared to face His accusers, His convicters, His killers, all on our behalf. Let us adjust our focus toward Jesus and to each other in Christian love and unity.

To say nothing of my finger joints!

Not only am I working out my ears and eyes these days, my finger tips and knuckles as well! Lots of typing and mouse-clicking going on as work continues between phone calls and posting on the three newsletters. All three due this month! What day is it exactly today????

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It appears, according the ticker on Fox News, that the Dow is showing an upturn thus far today, with the markets only being open a short time at this point. At first when the markets were falling, people like me were riveted to their sets or monitors, watching and marking as the numbers fell, turned red, bright red at the end of trading. Now, we ask one another, "How much did we lose today?", as though it is expected. None of the Wise seem to realize the market just is not "buying" into all these attempts to socialize our nation. Neal Boortz loves to ask the question: "When did a poor person ever hire you for a job?" I guess the answer to that would be: the guy who hired you for his start-up company on borrowed money who is now able to make it without bail-out money and has repaid the loans!!!!

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I was telling my friend, Judy R., yesterday about reading my "Grandma..." books she recommended, which I bought "used" on-line. What is this world coming to? She is a voracious reader and I am not, but she likes me anyway---talk about unconditional love! She told about a read she just finished and I asked her to not tell me about it because I simply cannot keep up! It seems I am using the Grandma books more like a devotional than a cover to cover read because of the way it is set up. And I really enjoy it! The writer includes Scripture passages between her paragraphs as well as hymn stanzas to tie it all together. As I was looking at the back cover and saw "testimonies" from other readers, I recognized names of people I know, like the Spiritual Growth leader of LWMS, Carolyn Wehmeyer, here in our circuit! She comments that this book is "a great devotional for personal daily use....". Yup, I knew that!

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The chapter I read this a.m. was about getting to put away the winter underwear. My readers from the South are not going to know what this is, but back in the old days, the kids actually did have to walk to school all the time, even in the winter and had to wear heavy, scratchy "woolies" under their clothes to help keep them warm. The city kids did not have so far to walk so were able to shed their woolies sooner than did the rural students, who were then teased for still wearing the winter weather garments. While all rejoiced over having the woolies to keep them warm during the worst of winter, come spring, all wanted to cast them off, even if it meant not being comfortable for the long walk back home, to avoid being teased. Pearl (who I think is really Judy R.!) places the passage from Romans into the text: "Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature." Makes me feel badly about not liking the little pink half coat that was handed down from sister to sister when I was a girl! The kids who had to wear the winter stockings and shirts felt the mockery of their rude, nasty classmates while enjoying the warmth of those items of ridicule on their way home! Just think.....

My ears are working out this morning

All things should be done in moderation, and that includes working out. After my quasi-physical exam on Saturday, I have decided to start a work-out program and have started from the top down. In the shower Sunday morning I scrubbed my scalp and hair until it bled (not really!), working the shampoo into quite the lather. Not only exercising my scalp and hair follicles, but my arms to boot!

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Monday I exercised my jaw by attending Bible study and going to lunch with the ladies. At Longhorn I exercised restraint by not ordering an adult beverage before noon! Especially since I had to work on the newsletter when I got home and had no time for nap taking. My jaw was used for talking with Twila for whom I served as chauffeur and again at Bible study for discussion. My chicken fingers were excellent and we had two new faces at lunch: my friend, Jennifer R. and Kim Tyler, Gordy's daughter, whom Judy C. picked up after class. She enjoyed her time away from her dad's side, and I am sure he didn't mind having his place to himself for a little while either. She will be staying through the weekend at least to help him get acclimated to being home after his rehab stay. Both Gordy and Twila were released at the same time, as though a coup took place! Twila, being younger and having the full replacement, bounced back more quickly than did Gordy, who had other medical complications pop up in the midst of his rehab.

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I was not moderate in my exercise yesterday, however, as I threw in exercising my tear glands and nose blowing after having several spoken and written conversations with dear ones regarding the conclusion drawn by the LES Team, to not start a kindergarten or add grades to our preschool at this time. Some folks were mightily disappointed, not realizing there was an undercurrent of dissent or dissatisfaction or or or or besides the wretched economic state our community and congregation is in. Mightily disappointed......One young lady, when she read my posting about my ear was hot from talking on the phone suggested that it meant people were talking about me, which would not surprise me one little bit! I believe the superstition actually is if one's ears are itching, people are talking about you, so perhaps I am in the clear!

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Because of the shedding of tears and outpouring of emotion, my brain (or what remains of it) was pounding, which is the true mark of over exertion---the no pain, no gain theory. It was nothing a rest on the bed wouldn't take care of so I placed myself on the mattress to make even more phone calls, this time to the snowy north. My sister-in-law and bro-in-law actually took my call!, and this is funny because, for some reason or another, when the phone rings in their home, the name of the person calling shows up on their TV screen! Whew! I am relieved that the vote was to take my call. Someone else told me about the movie "Gran Torino" where family members push the phone around the table to get someone else to answer it. I can see that happening when my name shows up on people's TVs! When Harv told me I showed up on his TV, I quickly went to put on some lipstick so I at least looked presentable. He thought that was amusing, and assured me only my name and number show up---whew! But, the way of the future.......

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Today's workout will hopefully be less so, but is okay if I repeat any of the previous exercises from this week. Especially the hair washing and teeth brushing! My ears started early with hearing jets in the air, my TV speaking to me, as well as my radio playing over the computer. So much talking and sound for my ears to gather.

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Joanne was on the phone earlier, trying to arrange for her hubby to go sit with her father at the hospital as she has an early morning meeting. I wouldn't work for that since her dad has Alzheimer's Disease and needs some familiarity around him as he heals.

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Rosalie called me again yesterday, too, which absolutely delights me because I simply love talking with her. She is still trying to keep herself busy even though she is healing from a bone fracture in her foot. One blessing about being home-bound is catching up on stuff that gets missed when out and running every day, but she is also looking forward to making her shut-in visits again and taking ladies to lunch and working at church.......typical Rosalie stuff! She was so surprised to hear that Mom is 84 years old---she was sure they were both about the same age, not 10 years apart. Mom--that is a huge compliment to you, in case you did not know it!

A new morning, perhaps a renewed attitude

Already I am in the window with the sun shining on my face and arm, with the river quiet. The palms are stirring only the tiniest bit in the breeze---no huge gusts to stir things up. It might be lovely day after all!

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So far Linda is the only one to comment on my posting after the meeting yesterday, but several people have discussed this with me via Facebook. Jen wrote that she liked the blog posting because it told her more than her hubby did after being at the meeting. He might have been prepared for the what the Team showed us, after spending the time with them on Saturday, having a better feel. As I mentioned, it is not so much the answer to our question, as we knew it would be pretty much a yes or no thing, but more the facing of the facts the Team presented to us. Our property is not presentable, it takes us too long to do things, we have a lack of unity and male leadership, a 'no one is in charge' sentiment, struggles with worship and leadership (again). Not a pretty picture looking back at us in the "mirror" Greg held up. Let's get up, dust ourselves off, and get moving in the right direction starting NOW!!!

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Originally Joanne and I had planned to watch the Oscars together last night but her dad ended up in the hospital so she was with him until after 9:00 pm. He has a respiratory problem and had to be admitted overnight. She just called from there, having left quite early this a.m., to report he has torn out his IV's, removed the telemetry leads from his body which allow the staff to monitor his heart and oxygen, removed the oxygen tubes from his nose, and dressed himself to go home! He is giving her a very hard time, in his state of confusion and Alzheimer condition, so she is wondering if they will need to sedate and then restrain him in order to get his mess under control. She might transfer him to another hospital but this one is so convenient to our shared home that it makes sense to keep him here and not confuse him even more.

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Justin was going to watch the Oscar's, too, but then sort of backed off, expecting it to be "too political" a show, especially with "Milk" and "Frost/Nixon" in the running. Mostly he wanted to see if Heath Ledger would earn an award for "The Dark Knight", which Ledger did win, but felt like creatures such as Penn would taint the event. On F & F this a.m., the comment was made about having Hugh Jackman serve as host curtailed the political chatter, much to my delight. Certainly the fashion show portion will continue ad nauseum for a week or so on cable channels as well as on the Internet so I can catch up on that later.

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Twila is able to get in and out of cars these days so I am picking her up for Bible study this a.m. Jean, her sister-in-law, drove her yesterday but has to work today so I have the privilege of driving Miss Daisy, as Gretchen likes to call it. I had better allow plenty of time for the drive over there and then back again so will dress myself for the day and leave further writing until later!

I decided this cannot wait.......

.........so have to write while the sentiments and memory is still fresh. Starting with worship, it is Transfiguration Sunday which serves as preparation for the Lenten season.

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As I was getting something from my mail box before taking attendance, Fausto, the Master Gardener who tried to cure my lemon tree, approached me. Usually he calls me "sweetheart" and will plant a kiss on my cheek (The Kiss Hello episode of "Seinfeld" comes to mind), and he did just that today. But then he handed me a baggie with a wooden figure in it. He said, "Timmy would have been in the (Pioneer) class we had Wednesday night, so I made you one of what he would have made." It is a duck-looking thing with a clothes pin incorporated, to hold a recipe or papers on a desk. His gift, his gesture, totally caught me off guard and blew me away, and the tears flowed without restraint. Later, when I spoke with his wife about it, she said she knew he did this, and he had asked her if I was going to cry. Julaine told him, "Of course she's going to cry!" I couldn't very well prove her wrong, could I?

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Sadly, church was far too empty for such an important day, and this type of response to hearing and attending this meeting after church would be reflected in the LES Teams' evaluation later. Afterward, I was greeting at the door and trying to encourage folks to stay for the pot luck/luncheon and the meeting. Brad, ushering today, came out afterward and told me he recently saw Mark, my policeman friend who used to be Brad's partner, for only a few minutes on a crime scene. I told Brad that I would love to have Mark and family plus Brad/Laurie/family at my house one of these days, but Brad is so busy finishing their new home to go out visiting.

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I mentioned to him that I wished I could help them out but there really isn't much I can do. Brad then said the sweetest thing to me---he said that I do plenty for him (tears time again!) I cheer him up when he comes to church in a bad mood. He said he can count on me for that. Then he told me Laurie had gotten a bunch of their stuff out of storage, including old photos, and he found one of him holding Timmy as a baby. He describes himself as looking like a kid in the photo and I said, "I bet Timmy did, too!" and we laughed. He apologized for making me cry but I assured him they were good tears, the best kind. Wow, what an emotional day!

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Flash forward through the marvelous meal and fellowship to the meeting presentation by the Team. Gulp! This is a big deal, folks, and it saddens me greatly how little interest there seemed in this report. Understandably some folks with families had sick children at home, or were sick themselves but those with no good excuse......I am part Pharisee today, okay? The two guys took turns presenting their portion of the report, Phil addressing the community issues and Greg the congregational issues. The long and short of their determination was "not at this time", this was not the right time for a number of reasons, to add grades to the preschool. I understand some of the young moms left the session in tears, horribly disappointed by the results of this survey. The facts were there, no one can argue with them, but certainly they were saddened that no grade school would be available right now or in the near future, for their children.

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Greg got the more distasteful job of having to "hold up the mirror" of the congregation, so those in attendance could see what the accumulated research showed. I hate mirrors! I hated what showed up in the "mirror" Greg was holding, and as we know, mirrors do not lie. We must keep in mind none of the results are the personal or subjective opinions of the Team. In my own case, I was not surprised at all by the outcome but am heaving great sighs of sadness over the state of our congregation...........

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After the meeting, folks were getting busy packing up the tables and chairs and such, putting the classrooms back to rights for tomorrow. I stuck around in the church to chat with folks, see what the feeling was and such. The Team, at the end of their report, pointed out the many positive things we have going for us already in place plus spelled out a number of things our congregation CAN do in order to flourish and share the Good News with our neighbors. Love that ending on a positive note! I thanked Phil for his hard work of putting all the community stuff together so nicely, sorting through the data gathered for months by member of our Steering Committee, etc. He shook my hand and expressed to me how he enjoyed our time together Thursday and Friday, and then complimented me on the love I have for my church family. He told me to keep up my efforts of being the "mother hen" to my fellow members, and when I looked surprised at this comment, he said, "Well, in talking with folks it is obvious the love you have for your church family." Never saw that coming either and once more, out of his sight, I wept once more.

A few words......yeah, right!

In a couple minutes I will be heading over to church for worship, pot-of-blessings meal, and then the meeting with LES Team who will report about their findings regarding adding grades to our preschool. Another Greek-styled sentence, long and run-on! A couple folks have contacted me about not being able to attend Sunday school or worship due to sick family members. They will be missed!

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Already this morning there was excitement in the household as Joanne received a call from the Memory Care Center where her dad lives, asking her to come and help evaluate Dad. It seems he was having some respiratory problems and they did not want to send him to the hospital without consulting Jo first. She flew out of here Friday, too, as he was giving the staff a hard time about going on a zoo outing. She should just shower, do her hair, and dress herself before she goes to bed so she is ready to go when the call comes in the morning! I have not heard from her since she left, so do not know the status of Clyde or Joanne! She has planned to make us some supper tonight as we are staying home to watch the Oscars together. Mention was made that she would make meat loaf and macaroni with cheese and cauliflower. And, yes, it is good! I should go check what form of meat is going to be used in the meat loaf because she might try to slip some mystery meat in on me!

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My lunch will be something quite delicious as our member-chef, Mike S. is making Boston butt for our main dish with others bringing dishes to share. Good eats! A hopefully well-attended meeting is following the meal when the Team will speak to us regarding their findings.

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I wish that I could have attended worship at Victory today as they are celebrating 10 years of worship. My family was there for the first service, including Mom who made numerous canvassing calls on behalf of the new church. Timmy very much enjoyed sitting in the conference room chairs, spinning and rolling around, as any three-year-old would! They are having a picnic afterward but I know I'd never make it over there in time to share in that portion of the fun either. Thursday and Friday will be Victory days with Bible study and scrapbooking. I can celebrate in that fashion!

What does today bring?

Well, the fasting has begun and I am thirsty already! Just knowing that I cannot have even a tiny sip of soda is making me nuts. Sips of water are permissible but not encouraged to down glass upon glass before the blood work after 3:00 pm. What will the tests show???? Joanne crowed the other night something to the tune of "wait 'til they see your cholesterol!" For that reason alone, just to show her, I hope the tests come back favorably. My family doctor, Dr. House, for real, said once that if he had his way, he would walk around the house eating a stick of butter. But, his wife won't let him. He also said he has the longest life span of any man in his family, living beyond age 63, thanks to Lipitor. His sales pitch to me worked and I accepted the Lipitor, but am trying to not take any more prescription drugs. We will see what the tests show, to see if I have to give in to the peer pressure of taking Lipitor!!!

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Yesterday I had the privilege of sitting in on an interview with the County Supervisor for Argyle and Oakleaf, with the LES Team. He explained about the new schools opening, coming on line, in the Oakleaf area, and how the beltway corridor which is being planned will reduce the traffic going past our facility when it is completed. Mike C. seemed to feel that Doug was "towing the County line" by promoting the government schools as compared to our private school but I did not take it that way. We need people from the community and area reps to be straightforward with us, not sugar-coat their reports, so the most accurate assessment can be made by this Team.

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Later, I was able to be the commentator on a riding tour of the parish area from church east and south, with Mike serving as the driver. This worked out well as he is familiar with the Bel-Air area and knew the locations of the grade schools and such. The guys thanked me later for the information, the local color of the area, instead of only the "nuts and bolts" about Orange Park. Once in awhile Mike and I would sort of disagree about details, but, for the most part, we bombarded these two men with more information than they could handle. Not really......Joanne had given me a briefing the night before as Phil had given me a list of questions for which they needed answers regarding the neighborhoods, make-up, demographics, and so on about our potential student draw.

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Last evening and today the Team is meeting with non-member parents of the preschool, individual members, families with school-aged children, folks who would be the ones to help support the additional grades should they be added, and so on. I am not part of this portion of the weekend. Also, the Council and Elders will be meeting with Greg and Phil at some point today. Tomorrow they will give their presentation at a meeting after lunch, which is pot luck mixed with home-cooked bbq Boston butts, by our own member-chef, Mike S. Yummy! I pray we have a good showing for this important meeting!!!