Did you hear? The Packers are going to the Super Bowl!!

Oh, my goodness! Such excitement, here in my home, and all over Facebook...My 'friends', most of them, are Green Bay Packer fans, too, and my homepage was simply lit up all through the game. Fortunately my cell phone picks up the FB notices as well, because part way through the game, my screens in this house went to green (not green and gold!), audio but no video. I called Jessica upstairs to find out if theirs went out too, and it had not so she asked me to come watch with them. It seems they have the HD stations and had no interruption but several areas around here did, even Stephanie on the Southside was out. I understand it lasted about 15 minutes, something to do with Comcast locally for those not with the upgraded packages. Jessica and Travis, and his brother, Todd, were watching, and for dinner had spicy chili and jalepeno corn bread. They offered me some, of course, but I had food cooking in my oven. I made a little something called "Bear ribs" instead of spare ribs.

At the start of the 4th quarter, I came back down here, as Stephanie let me know the picture was back on, and ate my dinner. Even cooked some little ears of corn that I had in the freezer, having wrapped them in foil with some butter pats. Definitely need some flossing after that! It has been a long time since I had an ear of corn! As I was finishing my dinner, the Packers beat the Bears, which called for the celebratory bowl of ice cream...so now, I am stuffed and ready to sleep! Do you not love those Coors Lite commercials with the coaches at the press conferences? What a stitch!! David, my bro-in-law, is absolutely thrilled about the Pack going to the Super Bowl, and says either opposing team will be a winner for WinCraft, but he personally likes the trash talking from the Jets. I guess it's 'Go Steelers'! David thinks the Packers can beat either of them!

Next weekend, when Hal and Rosalie are here, there is a Game Day event geared for preschool to junior high kids, actually all ages I guess, but we will be tied up here with the Open House. The next weekend is the Super Bowl and then Timmy's remembrance gathering here at my house. It will be busy the next few weeks and happily so.

On another note...

....it is bright outside right now. Not necessary sunshiny but at least not the heavy fog blanket over the river and no rain on my windows. Someone told me yesterday it was okay to have the rain because we needed it so badly but really, the sun would be most welcome periodically during the day as well. If it is going to be grey and cloudy, it should rain and have it over with, instead of just threatening to do so. In my humble opinion....

As I drove home from Victory last night I had hoped to be guided by the moon, or have it light my path, but, did not. In fact, the wipers had to come on along the way, but only for sprinkles. For dinner, I met Linda O. at Times Grille where I enjoyed a lovely dinner of meatloaf with mashed potatoes. What a portion! Of course, a to-go box came to the table and I will enjoy that meal once more today, or tomorrow---we shall see! Linda and I got caught up before going to Victory to see and hear Chris Driesbach. What an amazing story this man has to share, not only the destruction and rebuilding of his church and member's homes after Hurricane Katrina and the resulting flood, but his own personal 'destruction' and rebuilding when he came to faith.

A self-confessed atheist, he had made friends with his neighbor in Anchorage, AK, a pastor named Jim, who did one-on-one Bible instruction with Chris. Chris said he looked forward to having a cup of coffee and arguing about religion with his friend, Jim. On the sixth lesson, this atheist who was too smart for God, realized that he did indeed suddenly know the Lord and what He did for him. Wow! He went from having a heart of stone to a heart of faith. After the concert and presentation, I had a chance to talk to Pastor Hoyer about what that must be like for a pastor, to have this happen right across the desk from him....At our baptism, we are washed with water and the Word, as infants, and receive the promise of salvation from the Lord. While it is obvious then what is happening, it has to be so cool to have an adult come to faith right before ones eyes. I remember one baptism at Good Shepherd when the baby reached up and touched the pastor's hand as he was applying the water....and it moved him.

In the afternoon, I had gone to the groomers for my full-moon haircut, again in the gloom and mist of the day. Nothing in me wanted to keep my date with Linda but she talked me into it and I am so glad she did. She said she was looking forward to going out, talk to someone other than her students, and have a beer. She needed me! So I went, and rejoice for it! She is teaching in the nursing program at a career technical college in the area, with one subject she is teaching being ethics in medicine. Yikes! But what a good person to have for teaching such a subject. Linda told me she teaches 20 hours a week and takes 40 hours to prep! This is something I like to hear and know. My friend told me the other day how her husband is taking college classes now and is amazed and disappointed at how unprepared the 'professor' is when he comes to class. What he is supposed to be teaching the students, he cannot figure out himself. And for big money!!??!!

Yay! the sun is coming in the window now! All is well with the world. The other day I complained to Connie, the maintenance lady here at The Palace, about the lack of sunshine, telling her I was solar powered. She looked at me quizzically and said, "Don't you have power?" and then realized that I meant personally, I am solar powered. Oh, Connie, after all this time...? Every day this week she asked me about the football game this weekend, asking if I was putting my flag out again, and so on. I am so excited about the game! I told someone last night that I don't care if I am alone to watch it or with eight people, it will be a hoot---I hope!

A bit of heart-string tugging (WARNING!!)

My posting from earlier this a.m. was to compensate for none yesterday, in case anyone is confused by the multiple postings.

The format to be used is one my friend, Jami, does in her blog though I will not make it a steady style for mine---it will just present better with the stray thoughts being assembled. This format will be named, for now, as Stray Thought Gathering:

A couple recent ‘conversations’, some in person and some via the Internet, have brought some things to mind. This might not be particular to coming off of the “Timmy Week” but the situations others are facing. Thought provoking and memory-stirring, even memory-restoring things.

© One of my friends from church wrote to me about picturing Timmy sitting on my lap in church, wearing a party hat. Those are the kind of things I hang on to, and depend upon others to help me remember. Frankly, I had forgotten about that and thanked Kristi for triggering this memory for me again.

© Hand prints, whether on glass doors or dipped in finger paint, are cherished more if the maker of them is gone.

© Counting the days, the months, the years, the decades of when a loved one left for Home is not outside the realm of normal. It IS normal and IS natural and may be part of the ritual used to grieve. Not everyone will do this, but those who do it now, or did it then, are normal. And when a person loses count, it does not mean they have forgotten their loved one, only that they lost count…maybe it was just time.

© Those mourning losses are more than only the mom and father---remember the siblings, the aunts and uncles, the grandparents, the godparents, the pastors, the classmates, the teachers, the church family, the neighbors, the family friends, the doctors and nurses the loved one interacted with, and others are most certainly grieving along with you. Let them.

© Everyone handles the loss of a loved one in their own way. Make yourself available to them and accept the fact that perhaps the person or people wish to be left alone. Honor that for a while, but then remind them or those around them that you care, send a card, make a phone call to them (DO NOT WAIT to be called!), offer to help write the ‘thank you’ cards for the money gifts or flowers or food donations. You don’t have to talk, but you do have to listen! Hugs go a long way, too.

© In my own case, I was in need of information, in need of something documented. My other friend, who lost a baby, did too. Something to hold on to. The police department sent me the police report, the fire department gave me their paperwork, and the investigators of the accident returned the toys, blanket, dog toys, and whatever else they gathered from the patio that night, in an Evidence Bag.

©When someone has a miscarriage, a stillbirth, an infant, a school-aged child, a young adult, or any one else dear to them who died, the loss is great, and should be acknowledged, whether a breath was ever taken or not.

© Things a person would not ordinarily be ‘upset’ by otherwise are now upsetting. The sound of sirens, particularly rescue vehicle sirens, make my hair stand up and might have me stop in my tracks momentarily, although, oddly enough, I cannot say I remember hearing them that night. I must have, but I don’t remember. For those who have lost infants, a baby crying can stir emotions, or for those whose kids were older, hearing other parents discuss their problems regarding kids can cause heartache. There is nothing the grieving person can do about that, it just happens and that’s it. Not every single time, but at just the right time, it seems in my case.

© A person experiencing a loss in their lives will find comfort in the little things left behind, like the green plastic knife used to buy just the right colored shirt Timmy wanted for his dad, for Christmas. The nice clerk at SteinMart took Timmy around the men’s department to find the shirt as close to the green as possible, as I hung back. A few weeks later the same sales clerk helped Justin find a suit to wear for his brother’s funeral and remembered helping Timmy select his dad’s shirt. The knife is in the memory box in my foyer hallway, alongside a toothbrush with toothpaste yet on it.

My apologies if this caused you any upset but I had to write it down and get it said. Hugs to everyone, whether you need one or not!

My early morning posting, as promised!

Last night I posted on Facebook that I was simply too tired to write last night, my eyes had had it and needed to be closed. It was before 10:00 pm when pulled the covers up and rolled over to sleep. Part of the reason for being so weary was that I was awake shortly after 5:00 yesterday morning, and no rain was falling. Like this morning, the fog is dense, totally obliterating my view across the river, almost like boards over my windows. When I went to bed last night the moon was brilliant in the sky, and it made me think of my ladies with whom I have shared this sight. Two of them wrote to me about it via Facebook, how they drove to or from somewhere by the light of our shared moon!

Even though the daytime temperatures have been somewhat warmer much of this week, when I wake up, it feels cold to me. I was burrowed in bed too long yesterday morning and then had to hustle to get ready for Bible study. On the ride over, I called Mom and caught up with her a bit. I told Mom about reading some blogs on-line and found one about apologetics, and the name of the author/host was that of her nephew's son who is an LCMS pastor in CA. Immediately I dashed off a note to his personal e-mail address, introduced myself, having met him only once when he was a child. When I was telling Mom about writing to him, I had not yet heard back from him, since the time difference is 3 hours. I did hear back from Paul later, though. He vaguely remembers attending a birthday party, I am guessing it was for his great-Grandma Sickles when she was 90, which would have been in 1976. Paul, probably now in his 40's, has had a varied career prior to the ministry and I think this will be so fun to connect all the dots in our lives, separated by miles, attached via the Internet!

My mom stays in touch with her nephew, my cousin, Don, who is the dad to Paul, with both phone and e-mail connections. Before CHRISTmas I had sent him some family photos and he was appreciative to see faces to connect with the names. I believe the last time I saw him was at my aunt's funeral, his mom, many moons ago. They live in NM now but have lived in AZ most of their married life. His parents, Delbert and Louise, lived in IN and loved to travel the US. My former spouse and I had the privilege of enjoying portions of Colorado with them in summer of 1982, at Estes Park where we met up on our vacations! Great fun and fond memories!

Bible study was a bit unusual today as our new booklets had not yet arrived, so Pastor had to photocopy a few copies for us to share. Their 'big' copier was down so he had to use a desktop copier which is not all that efficient for numerous pages. Having the copier down also prevented him from running the copies for the service folder so after class, when the repairman had left, the copies were made and immediately we went to work folding and assembling. I had time to do that as Justin needed to run back home before lunch to pick up his computer and change his laundry load over to the dryer. We were going to have lunch so I waited at church until he called to let me know he was ready.

On the way out the door I received a brief message of encouragement and a warm hug from Pastor H. Only a few moments prior to that I had gotten off the phone after making plans to meet with my friend, Carol, in the afternoon. His encouragement made our hours long conversation quite different and hopeful for healing. Yay! Carol had wanted to get together anyway and we had much to talk about---mother to mother---which was especially important this funeral month, for both of us who suffered the loss of children.

But, before our meeting, I met with Justin at Chili's in Mandarin, a change from the original plan to have Chinese food. I was in the mood for Chinese ever since Hu came for a visit. The guys on my afternoon radio show are just tearing me up, it is more fun to watch them laugh than to hear them make the jokes about 'Hu's on first?'. Ad nauseum!!! One of the guys, Stu, does not find that old bit humorous but then lowered himself to their level in the 4th Hour of the show. Hysterical!!! But Justin was hungry for something from Chili's which is right next door and I really don't care. We had the most wonderful, awesome, sweet corn soup---absolutely fantastic!! I brought home half the soup and one of the two Big Mouth Burgers, while Justin finished my fries. It was a perfect portion, from the lunch menu, and I highly recommend this to folks. Justin had a pasta dish with his, described by him as being fabulous also. Wise choice to pass on the Chinese...but I thought I would help pay down the national debt by eating at Mama Fu's Restaurant!!!

While waiting at home for Carol to arrive, I began transferring my folder and paperwork from the School of Worship Enrichment to a ring binder. Punching holes and sorting papers is quite therapeutic yet cathartic, revisiting the workshops and events of that fantastic weekend. How much more perfect could it be than on Reformation weekend???!!!?? Oh, we learned so very much at this event and wish many more could have joined us. Isn't that always the way? When we do or experience something amazing, we want to tell others all about it so they can share in it. We should be this excited about our Savior and telling others about their salvation. That was part of what we talked about in Bible study, our dual natures of saint and sinner. This is going to be good!!!

Well, I made it!

Made it through the day, and nicely so, at that. Only a few moments ago I came back from The Club where I got to see many of my friends and acquaintences whom I had not seen since before ThanksLiving. Once I went back to choir, I was tied up on Wednesdays which cramped my Happy Hour time. Those who know me know it's not the drinks that draw me there, but a chance to be with my neighbors and friends, indoors now since it's winter time. Otherwise we would be around the pool or on the sundeck, enjoying the company and the evening. Penny was there tonight, whom I had not seen in ages and was so delighted to see her! There was a mini-buffet tonight and sadly, Ellen was not able to attend, even though she was the one who invited me to go. Not her fault, she had a schedule conflict with her physical therapy. The buffet was great, serving smoked pork tenderloin, mashed potatoes, two types of veggies, salad, and apples to put over the pork. Just delicious and not too heavy a meal.

Earlier today, for lunch, Justin and I met at Sweet Tomatoes for our traditional (9 years running!) birthday remembrance for Timmy. He loved that place for some odd reason, and I think that odd reason was the brownie with 'ahs cream' and sprinkles. Justin had the entire dessert, I opted to omit the brownie portion. He had to go do some work at the 'old' office after lunch and I went to Publix to buy soda. When I was there, he called me to ask if I could swing over to the office as he had another bag of clothes to donate to Quigley House. Justin was organizing stuff in the suite which is being used for storage of office equipment and supplies, plus model home furnishings as they had to move stuff out a couple weeks ago.

This evening I am particularly tired because I was awake before 6:00 a.m., in the midst of a dream where my car was sizzling and overheating, spewing water all down the road...When I awakened, what I heard, evidently, was the rain falling against the windows. Ah! The rain permeated my sleep, water yet haunting me, but at least it was not coming through the glass or dripping from the ceiling! That's twice this week I woke with bad dreams involving water and the rain. I hope we are done with rain showers for a while. The moon is reflecting beautifully on the river right now, was shining across my bed when I walked into the room. Nice! Thank you, Lord, for that!

I am thankful for another cool thing that happened to me today. As I was leaving the grocery store, I met a lady I know named Toi, who was coming in. The last time I saw her was at Publix before Christmas and she asked me to pray for her to find a job. She asked me the same favor again today. I wish she would find something. Anyway, her daughter was at Childtime when Timmy was there. Toi asked me how I was and I told her pretty good except that today was Timmy's birthday....Before I could finish, she said, "I know it is!" Toi said that all day she was trying to think whose birthday it was but couldn't think of it, until she saw me!! She said, "Do you know that I saw you last year on this day, too? You were just coming from Sweet Tomatoes..." Oh my goodness! How in the world did this happen??? I told her, excitedly, that Justin and I had just come from there. She gave me her card and ordered me to call her next year so she can go with us to Sweet Tomatoes. I cannot wait to tell Jennifer R. about this. Jen worked at Childtime then, too. Don't you just love how the Lord works in our lives???

Oh, by the way, Jesus Triumphs Over Tragedy!

A lighter day today

Oh, my head feels a little funky yet today after a particularly rough evening last night. I know it would have been better for me to have gone to dinner or had Martie here to pass the time. Unfortunately, the weather last evening was dreadful, heavy fog and general yukkiness, which certainly dampens one’s spirits on a good day! Certainly I did not mind staying in-warm and dry-and Martie appreciated getting home safe and sound.

But, the time was free then to ‘watch’ my radio show and part of the TV show from Monday night. I caught an episode of “Seinfeld”, which made me laugh, where George decided to convert to Latvian Orthodox because he was in love with a woman of this faith. Oh, they are so shallow! Next, I watched “House”, a new episode which is unusual for me, as normally I am a rerun girl. And then the fatal mistake: I watched a Lifetime movie! A gut-wrencher, at that.

(Years ago Justin cautioned me about watching that network, warning it was not good for me to watch the types of shows aired there. Not a problem since I was not a fan of Lifetime to start with, but I found it ‘charming’ that he would be concerned for my well-being and heart already as a teenager!)

This movie last night was about a family whose son was killed in a car accident, with his girlfriend in the car, about whom they did not know. She was injured in the accident, but came to the funeral, and then showed up a few months later at their door, pregnant with their son’s baby. The mother was not handling the death of her beloved teenager well, and the dad was not handling it at all, but they took her in anyway. Without retelling the entire story, the mom found out that her son, living for 17 minutes after the crash, had been concerned for his girlfriend, not calling for his mom. This was eye-opening for her and changed the entire dynamic in their troubled home. The mourning and feelings were quite well acted and seemed very very familiar. Not being a fan of Susan Sarandon, she did a good job pulling off the aggrieved mother, and the dad, played by Pierce Brosnan, was perfect in his role. Wow, it tore me up, that’s for sure!

Besides the movie, I was also in ‘conversation’ with the mom of the little girl who died of cancer, members of Victory, in answer to a posting on CaringBridge recently. I had talked to Pastor H. about this, the upcoming three-month anniversary, especially falling right after Christmas, and sure enough, this was reflected in the mom’s posting. I think the family and I, in particular, Beth, will have a long-lasting relationship in this 'club' we never intended to join.

Today will be different though and has been already. A good night’s sleep, even a dream where I was working in the office at Victory! Today is Brent’s birthday and Sunday was Pastor H's. Only last year did I realize both these guys had birthdays during the ‘funeral week’ in 2001. Later on today, I am going to visit MamMa on my way to play Trivia with Stephanie and Erica at Johnny Angels. I feel like a winner already!!!

There is racket from downstairs today as the neighbors are having their river-facing windows replaced. No, not the result of the Great Flood, but something they had been wishing to do for some time. They might as well since the house is yet torn-asunder. The last report was the family would be able to move back into their condo around the first of February. Yes, say it, “holy cow!”---they have displaced for over four months. As I told my family and friends when in WI, unless they were here to see it, they have no idea the amount of damage which occurred that day…

With Hal and Rosalie coming for a visit, we have decided to have an open house here at my condo so folks can have a gathering place to come for an extended chat with them. Rosalie said Hal’s eyes just lit up in glee at the proposition, which is what I like to hear!

One thing I dread though is him seeing the condition of the property at GS—so much of his blood, sweat, and tears went into that landscaping years ago. At least he would not expect to see grass at this time of the year, because there is little to speak of remaining on the front yard. An errant ‘janitor’ we had a couple years ago took care of the weed situation using the wrong product, thus proceeded to kill the grass as well. I can still picture Hal out on that lawn roto-tilling the ground and laying the pipes for the sprinklers. There has not been working irrigation for several years now…which might be okay to keep the weeds down! The Sunday they are here is Fellowship Sunday where folks will be sticking around at church, so Rosalie and Hal can catch up with some folks there. We made a list of people they want to visit with, several whom had left GS, but I can play detective to track them down. I am on it!!!

At least we don't have to shovel it!

My nephew, JR, was able to serve as the escort for a visiting dignitary recently in Afghanistan. The newly elected WI Senator, Ron Johnson, toured the facility where JR trains Afghani recruits. I am so proud of JR and the work he is doing!

*

While sitting at this desk, I am unable to see across the river due to the low clouds, the misting rain, and overall gloominess of the day. Though it is 56 above zero, the air feels much cooler and makes me feel like climbing under my covers again. I just got home from Bible study and lunch, today at Longhorn again, and was telling the ladies how I felt like getting back into bed. Almost all agreed with that mindset, whether or not they are able to do so themselves. Martie and I are supposed to get together for dinner, postponed from last Monday but again the weather makes me feel like eating in. I sent her a text message to see if she would be okay with me cooking for us, which I am sure she will approve, but need confirmation on that before I make too many plans. Meat loaf and baked potatoes make a mighty fine dinner on a nasty night!

Oh, oh, now the weather folks are warning about possible flooding in some low-lying areas as the rains will make a return this direction. We go from being too dry and having fire dangers to flooding in regions. On the bright side of this is my family and friends in WI are currently ‘living in a snow globe’, as Alayna described it, or finding folks stuck in the parking lot and being out of Diet Coke!!! Kerry, you know when snow is predicted, you must get the staples---like D.C.!!!

On this Martin Luther King, Jr. birthday, my mind goes back to 2001, the morning after Timmy died. The Dohner’s had brought Justin home, and I made phone calls to St. Johns to let them know what had happened, speaking somehow with Mr. Edwards, the lower school Dean. Carol Jo, the guidance counselor and mom of one of Justin’s classmates, came over to our house to speak with Justin and us, offering her condolences. Twila and Jackie came over and if memory serves, spent most of their time with Mom. But it stays with me that Twila was there, which I mentioned to her today at lunch. Earlier in Bible study when we were discussing the workers in the vineyard parable, Twila mentioned how her husband was ‘an eleventh hour convert’ and how happy she was about that. Me, too, Twila, me too!

Rosalie, my friend who used to be the church secretary and queen of Good Shepherd, traveled from Houston to be with us, staying in the neighborhood with a fellow church member. We have been communicating this past week quite a lot, as she remembers that time for and with us, even posted a photo of Timmy and herself, taken on the porch at the Misty Lake Drive home, on Facebook yesterday.

Today Rosalie sent me an e-mail reporting that Hal and she are coming this way at the end of the month and will be visiting Good Shepherd and me! Yippee!!!!! One of her family members down state is in failing health so they are coming over to see him. I am so happy! Perhaps they will stay here with me, she will let me know all the details when the time gets closer. While it would be great to have her here when I have my planned ‘remembrance party’ in mid February, I will appreciate even 10 minutes with her for a personal visit.

When I got home from church yesterday, I read an e-mail from my friend and dentist, Peggy, asking if I had seen the news that Royal Marshall, a producer for Neal Boortz Radio Show, had died suddenly Saturday. NO! I had not seen it but she saw in on Neal's website. Immediately I sent Justin a text message and I wrote back to Peggy about how stunned I was that so young a man would die, and how sad that he has two young daughters and a wife left to live without him. In the meanwhile Justin text messaged me back saying almost the same thing I wrote to Peggy, including, "...and he's got two little kids!"

No one knows the day or the hour when we will be called home, and I am glad that Royal was active in his church and would even witness about the Lord on the radio program. My heart aches for his boss and co-workers, Neal and Belinda, who will be back on the air tomorrow. Today the morning crew at the mother station conducted a tribute show for Royal which they were recording to give his daughters for posterity sake. Again, the book "Counsel of Dads" came to mind, thinking about the men in Royal's life who could step up and offer 'fatherly' counsel in Royal's stead. Only 43 years old...Twila heard that he'd had a heart attack. He was a deacon at his church and did volunteer work for various groups for disadvantaged children. A really good example for folks, and I am going to miss hearing him rein in his boss, Neal. Rest in peace, Royal Marshall!