The other day a 'friend' of mine from Facebook, a personality on the Internet radio show I follow, posted an article from The Guardian, a British publication. The article was a compilation of the top 5 things people who are facing immanent death have stated. The author is a palliative nurse, one who is there in the last days of the person's life, who serves as a companion for the ill person and their family.
Over her 12 year career, she kept track of folks' dying epiphanies and has released them in a book called "The Top Five Regrets of the Dying". I hope you do not feel like this is morbid, because I do not find it that way at all. Instead, it might stimulate some action on someone's part, to do something or not do something, as the case might be, before the end comes. It is a fascinating exercise and read, anyway.
The #1 thing was they wished they'd had the courage to live a life true to themselves, not the life others expected of them. The person feels they missed something, have unfulfilled dreams or goals, or are left wondering if they'd done enough. Good health brings with it the freedom to realize dreams and goals, but folks don't appreciate the opportunity until it's too late.
Item #2 addresses working too hard or too much. The author said every single male patient she cared for expressed the same refrain. They missed milestones in their kids' lives as well as time spent with their spouse. Not as many females expressed this sentiment, but her patients were primarily a different generation where the husband was the primary breadwinner.
Being more open with their feelings made the list at #3. In order to keep the peace, many folks kept their feelings to themselves which resulted in a mediocre existence, and tended to fill them with bitterness and resentment. Unexpressed emotions....
Here is my favorite: #4 "I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends". Oh my! It is often too late, when facing death, to catch up with your old friends. They have left the friendship slip for their own life, the comfort of familiarity taking precedence over friendships, and let the friends slip away. Many on their deathbed have things left to say to their friends and harbor deep regret for allowing this to happen. "Everyone misses their friends when they are dying."
The last item on the list, #5, is that folks, on their dying beds, wish they allowed themselves more happiness. This one seems to be very similar to #3, with the 'fear of change' being the prevalent sentiment expressed. They don't realize in time that "happiness" is a choice, but the fear of stepping outside the comfort zone restrained them. The dying wish they had lived, laughed, and loved more, and had more 'silliness' in their lives. You can't go wrong with more silliness, if you ask me!
As you can see, this is written entirely from a human standpoint, as the list nowhere mentions the value of living our life as a reflection of Christ. One who is a believer in the Lord and Savior knows the source of our joy is not necessarily from others, but often involves others, which is an additional blessing.
It is my hope that all who read this will find something they can do yet, take care of, before they die, so the palliative nurse will have no regrets to record about their lives. "I'm but a stranger here, heaven is my home..."
