(Warning!!) No despair here...

...at least not over this. Sorrow and loss, yes, but no despair here. 

Our worship yesterday was so evocative for me, and for my boy. The pre-sermon hymn was "Be Still, My Soul" which formerly was #1 on my funeral hymn list. It was bumped down to third place by "Jerusalem the Golden" and "In Christ Alone". When Kathy R. was our organist, she would often play the hymn for pre- or post-service music, and give me a wink. She knew how to pluck my heart strings.

(A couple weeks ago, before we sang a hymn, I leaned over and whispered to Mike S. how much I loved this hymn. Twila and Jean, seated behind us, heard this and chuckled, knowing my list of favorites is extensive!)

The Gospel reading was from Luke, the story of Jesus' giving life back to the widow's son. "His heart ached for her..." Oh yes, it does! He knows every emotion we feel, having experienced that same grief Himself when He became fully human. "When the Lord saw her, his heart went out to her and he said, “Don’t cry.”" Luke 7:13  Pastor used a Greek word---splanchnizomai---which meant Jesus 'hurt deeply for her'. And brought her deceased son back to life for his mother.

Pastor's sermon was based on this lesson and hit very close to home. He talked about the grief of having someone near to us die 'an untimely death'...an operation gone bad, sudden illness, or a tragic accident. It is not our time, but His timing. 

Pastor mentioned the public grieving the parents showed after the shootings at Sandy Hook Elementary, and of those who lost children in the collapsed school in Moore, OK recently. Seeing these parents suffering might trigger our own memories of personal losses experienced in 'untimely deaths'. Whoooo, tough one!

He also mentioned the comfort of hugs, gestures of kindness, the sympathetic   (my phrasing here) tears from others in our loss, and the comfort we have knowing Christ understands our sorrow so well. 

Then, Pastor mentioned the preschool graduation of last week, and the conversation he had with one of the dads. The dad shared the plans for the coming summer, how his two children were going to visit their grandparents and spend time with extended family, and just enjoy themselves all summer long. Pastor wanted us to imagine all the precious memories they will be making. 

Then, we should imagine (consider it done!) what their lives would be like if one or both of the kids suffered an untimely death---the missed birthdays, the empty place at the table (that's my addition to the list), or a holiday celebrated minus that child. At this point Justin leaned over and asked me, "Is he doing this on purpose?" Justin's heart was aching, too. His own loss of his brother and the grim reminders to his mother. I just love that guy!

The sermon, of which I have a copy, goes on to mention how we will all meet again, 'caught up in the skies', all seated around the table at the heavenly banquet, every seat filled (my words again), a closeness with our Father which far surpasses any earthly closeness. Eternity in heaven, we long for that!

                          

After the sermon, as I was all mopped up, Twila put her hand on my shoulder, as she knew what we felt like, me more outwardly than Justin. When the service was over and we waited to be ushered out, all three ladies behind us were hugging our shoulders and telling us how much they loved us. Just as I had my tears mopped up.... 

Once outside, exiting via the side door with Justin, Kristi sought me out. She said she just had to give me a hug, "after that hymn (she knows it's my favorite) and that sermon....." As I told Linda later, I have the best friends, and I love them, too! 

It's hard to accept or comprehend that this sermon was right for everyone, not only me (us), and that I am certainly NOT the only person who has suffered a loss, an untimely death. Perhaps it's because my little boy was so much a part of the congregation or something, that it is personal to all of them. My older friends have lost their parents, and some have lost their spouses (like the widow in the lesson), and others have had to bury children as adults. But somehow the loss of a child is that much more, for lack of another word, profound, bringing home the fact that we are all vulnerable and have our days numbered. 

When Sterling came out of church, I thanked him for playing 'my hymn' for us that day, on the piano. He is not skilled in the same way Robbie is, but does a very good job of it. Anyway, he said, "You're welcome..." sheepishly, and then told me I had a black speck on my cheek. If that's all I had there, that would be a good day! I told him it was probably mascara as I had wept in church and he said, "Oh, I try not to..." He is such a dear!! I hope when he gets orders the next time, it keeps him at NASJAX. He is a blessing to our congregation and our worship.

                                            

Friday at Happy Hour at the pool, Kathy was telling about a cobalt blue glass piece she has in her collection. She said she thinks me of every time she looks at it. The shape is a tear drop, gotten in the Middle East, and is a vessel for collecting tears. It moved me so to have her tell me this. Cobalt blue is my favorite glass color, as she knows well, and the fact that her piece would collect tears puts it over the top. It would be over the top full if it collected my tears yesterday. Whew! My glass only collects dust!

About Saturday....

It has been a great weekend, but, man, I am tired! Yes, I did have an adult beverage at the pool, which may make me feel extra tired but I think it was the fun combined with the emotion of this day which has worn me out. More about the emotion in another posting...

Yesterday morning I went to Wal*Mart and Great Hang Ups. At the store I got my scrip picked up plus a few other things I'd had on my list. At Hang Ups I viewed the last of the show from Whitey's exhibit, as they are ready now to take it down. A new custom, I am told, is having an opening and a closing of a show. Doesn't hurt one bit!

It was good to see Dee and Julia, spend some time with them again. Dee recently got a new dog and was happy to show her off to me. Princess was and is intended to keep Blair company at home, but came along to the shop with Dee that day. What a sweetheart of a dog she is! Not a peep out of her...A job I had to tackle there was to sign my piece entered in the "Visions" show. Dee took it out of the framing materials for me to sign it, and will reassemble it for me, and drop it off again. 

After the errands, I went out to the pool and had lunch, being joined by several ladies. That was so enjoyable! Some of the ladies just came to eat, going back home across the parking lot to finish cleaning their veranda. They chose cleaning over pool time---go figure! Anyway, a fellow member of the Art Guild sat with me for a bit, being able to enjoy the adult end of the pool since her son is away for a couple weeks. Good time for us to catch up!

I managed to get down into the water for a bit with some prompting from Patty. I stood rigid with my arms clasped around myself as long as I could bear it. Once I moved into the sun it was more tolerable in the water but I was so not a happy camper. The folks I was sitting with are neighbors from The Villas, regulars poolside, and get a kick out of me. Makes for a fun afternoon!

Later in the day my other neighbors came out, with Kathy's hubby being in town this weekend, for extra pool fun. (He works in Tallahassee so comes every other weekend). At a certain point, though, I had to shift gears, go into the house to change clothes, and head to a birthday party. Sue, from church, was throwing a surprise party for her daughter's 40th and nearly did pull it off. Unfortunately, Kristin came home early from work and caught them mid-set-up. It's the thought that counts!

                                

There was one tableful of GS friends there, and the rest of the guests were family friends and co-workers of both Sue and Kristin. The grandkids did the majority of the heavy-lifting, as it were, to get things set-up, so Mom and Grandma could enjoy the party. Nice kids and a great party. TONS of food leftover from Sonny's BBQ. Wish I could have eaten more (but it's too late now!) Got home around 9:00 pm and was so ready for bed. Talk about an action-packed day...perfection!

A brief peek at Saturday

While I was suffering at the pool, my family in Manitowoc was enjoying fried cheese curds, brats or burgers, or say it isn't so---perch sandwiches, at the Garden Show across the street from my mom's place. Nice! They tortured me with pictures! Not of the kids but of the curds!

Bits 'n pieces

The other day on Facebook, a "friend" from my home town posted how her husband and she had gone to dinner with two other couples. As they enjoyed their meals and the evening, a man came over and told them their bill was taken care of. They were stunned and he said, "I like to do that when I see folks pray before their meals..." What a powerful statement was made first by them, and then by him. Gives you an idea, does it not?

It's one of those 'pay it forward' opportunities. One time Jen and I were eating at Cracker Barrel. When it was time for us to go, the waitress came to tell us that a man had already covered our bill, and he extended God's blessings on us. Nice! We were blown away. I have heard about folks who pay for the order of the car behind them in line at a drive-through, just to be nice. Or pre-paying someones toll on the freeway...anonymously.

A few years ago I had something like this happen for me. At the gas pump, I realized I had not pulled far enough ahead to allow for the car behind me (sort of a corner gas station, smallish area) so I got back in the car and pulled it ahead to make room for the one behind to pull in. As I got busy pumping my gas, a lady came up to me and gave me a gift card to Bojangle's Chicken, as a thank you for being so kind to her. 

She told me she'd been on the road much of the day, dealing with rude drivers, etc. and was blessed to have me be kind to her by pulling ahead like I did. Wow! For so long, I would not use the card because it meant much to me, but Justin told me I get to keep it after it's used up. So, recently I enjoyed a wonderful steak biscuit as my reward for moving my car ahead, such a simple thing....

***

Tuesday I had the privilege of meeting my friend, Jacquie, for lunch on the Island. She had a nail appointment and we met afterward at La Napolera. They were out of strawberry margaritas---how can this be? It was an okay thing, though, since I had to be at the top of my game for the preschool graduation reception that night. As we stood near the parking lot before leaving for home, a car came through the lot and hit a pothole full of water. Yup, we each got splashed but neither of us moved. We simply simultaneously looked down at our pants, then at each other, and laughed. Just a little water with dirt mixed into it---no big deal. Talk about funny!

                               

My friend, Lee, is leaving for Chicago today for the college graduation of her son. I suggested she take clothes for several temperatures, though she is less chilly-boned than am I. She likes the cooler air temps and water temps. Our paths will not cross for a while now since she will be with family in IN when I am leaving for WI. It won't happen again until I get back in July. Oh man! 

***

We had a Board of Directors meeting Wednesday night in the lower level garage. The chairs and tables from the sundeck are stored there so it was easy to set up for a meeting, though it did get dark. Sometimes the discussions are far too heated for my tastes, unnecessarily so, and it bothers me. Others seem to flourish in it. Hmmm....

Anyway, the conversation was yet again about the importance of having licensed and insured plumbers only doing work in our units. This is a hard-learned lesson, as you know. We cannot just assume someone has a license and is insured! He might know what he is doing but if something goes badly---that knowledge won't cover the damages. Two incidents of pipes breaking has happened in the past week which made this ugly topic rear its head. There is not a sure way to enforce this other than the honor system by the Owners which did not bode well with some. No other solution is available so the arguing was of no use. 

I hope and pray the water problems from plumbing are behind us all. And am thankful no water problems from outside affected my inside with this tropical storm moving through!
***
On a brighter note, this week I got a lovely card from my friend, Gretchen. On the front it says: "Laughter is like a bowl of ice cream with two spoons". On the inside is printed: "so glad for all we share!". Besides that she wrote a note, as is her custom, thanking me for something and wishing me warm water in the pool. Besides the card, she included a business card-sized piece of paper with passages about singing, from the Psalms. Such a dear!
***
I also have received invitations to the graduation services for the first two girls from Rocky Mnt. Lutheran High who stayed with me. I am so touched by their thoughtfulness and their continued practice of calling me 'Auntie Kim'. 
***
My extended family has experienced a loss. My niece lost her grandpa on Monday to a brain aneurysm, suffered the same day his wife had a stroke. His was worse than his wife's situation and had to go to another city for treatment. Sadly, the damage was more serious. His wife was able to go and see him before he slept away. Our family grieves for this loss, as Ray was a wonderful man, a perfect grandpa for my niece, and a best friend to his son. He was a God-fearing man and I am sure heaven is having a good time listening to Ray's stories. I can hear the laughing through my tears...

We've got company again...

Tropical Storm Andrea is visiting the First Coast, making for some very nasty weather. My sister in WI is a big fan of the weather and was tracking this TS, fearing for my safety. Thus far, at this writing, the worst of it might be over, as it moves north and west out of the area. From what the local weather guy said, it is moving more quickly than expected which is a blessing for us. Areas around Mayport and Fernandina Beach had possible tornadic activity with some damage occuring on the base. Mainly it was roof damage, a few broken windows, and upset picnic sites. Nothing directly related to the ships or anything like that.

                            
                                    Mayport Naval Station roof damage

Justin could not work in this weather so he joined me for Bible study this a.m. At first I was not going to go but it seemed to clear up a bit for my ride over. Even got to talk to Mom all the way with no problems. We had a scant class today, when last week we added a table to accomodate our group. I think the weather kept folks at home. Pastor was so glad to see me, thinking I would not come due to the weather. Can't miss an opportunity to study the Word with my boy, can I? Lucy was so glad to see Justin---she leaped to her feet to give him a hug. And sent the extra doughnuts home with him, too!

The rain was on and off steady but not heavy so Justin and I went in my car to Bahama Breeze for lunch. We ate on the patio where it was still warmer than inside. It was so good to have my favorite buttermilk chicken sliders. The rice 'n beans was not so good and I left it behind. Justin had the pork sliders and fries, finishing his meal. We shared a small order of onion rings, three in the order, a new item on the menu. Very good! I packed up my leftovers to bring home for my dinner. All set!

We went back to Victory to get Justin's car, and it was really pouring. It was an unpleasant ride back toward Orange Park for me, with Justin exiting at San Jose to head to his place. There were 'standing water warnings' for parts of this street but he got home safely. 

By the time I got to the bridge it was getting brighter out and the rain let up. Thanks to the river, I think, and its Creator! I was so very glad to get home, believe me. Gus offered to help me carry my soda upstairs but I was managing okay. He is such a dear man!

My upstairs neighbor said he was ready and standing by if help was needed, and I think I heard the wet vac going earlier this afternoon. The sun is peeking out for the first time today at this time of night. That is just fine with me! Thanks to all my friends and family who have us in thought and prayer. Welcome, blue skies!

Busy days

It surely does seem to me that life has returned to pre-Justin days with busyness and down-time in proper balance. I like having something going on or to do every day of the week, even if it's only running an errand. It would get soooo easy to just enjoy my perch in the window here or poolside and not venture off the property most days. This coming Saturday my presence is required, or requested, three different places besides poolside!

It is that time of year, graduations and other occasions to be celebrated. May was like that for some us around here, with Judy C. having something every weekend last month and into this one. Her son's installation, a granddaughter's college graduation, another son's deployment send-off, another granddaughter's graduation, and then a trip to AZ, hopefully to rest! 

This Saturday I have an art show to attend at Great Hang Ups in the morning, then to the pool (weather allowing), and then to a surprise birthday party later in the afternoon. That same day Justin and I are invited to the graduation party of a young man whose dad, Rick, used to work for us, and remains our friend. Sadly, we cannot make both parties....

He is a little blurry because Rick sent me this photo via text message

Christopher was in the same daycare as Timmy, which is where I met Rick, who was his then single daddy. Rick was training to be a draftsman back in 1998, and I suggested he come over to talk to my husband about a job. He showed up the next day, unannounced, and long story short, got the job. The rest is history! 

Rick and Jimmie sitting on my sofa (Chris can be seen over Jimmie's shoulder in the other room)

Rick, married to Jen, now works with Justin's friend, Ron, at a commercial construction business. I was so proud of Rick when he graduated with high honors from ITT, and am also proud of Christopher and his achievement. 

Graduation at Precious Lambs

The graduates lined up in the front, telling their Bible stories in song       

Precious Lambs director, Michael and Ms. Lisa hand out the diplomas. Lisa made their hats, which were like a headband with a graduation cap afixed to it

 Betty and I prepared the reception and dressed the room for our guests

 Betty made this lovely punch, which packs a punch on the green tablecloth

  This table holds the baked goods and cookies donated by members for the preschool reception

Betty made these special treats for the little graduates and staff. It's a marshmallow cookie on the bottom, with a chocolate graham cracker for the mortar board. An M & M and licorice make the button and cord. Tasty and quite cute!