Bracing

I think I have done all that I can, that we can. This includes crying out of fear and uncertainty. Yesterday representatives from the fire department came by to check on who was staying and who was going from The Palace. The Lt. was quite sure we'd be fine sitting it out on the 3rd floor as far as the surge goes, and he didn't expect we would get the winds the beaches area will experience. Hurricane Matthew is causing me terrible upset! Oh, and we know it's all about me, don't we? There are others who stayed in my building, at least 3 on this floor and some upstairs. Boy, I sure wish Dick and Debbie were in town, but again, that's about me. I am glad they are away from all this as they have enough stress to deal with in their lives.

I find myself walking room to room, thinking of what else I should/could be doing to make sure we have what we need, and that things are protected. We/I are sure all about the things. Last month we had a lady at church lose her home and almost all her belongings other than what she could fit in her car. What would I do? My heart breaks for her, and am glad that we at church could step up and lend a hand to get back up and running again. If things go terribly wrong here and I lose all my belongings, my treasures, well, I can't face that right now. Sadly, my testament of faith is not what it should be right, guess I can dish it out but not take it?? Shame on me! One of our readings from last Sunday had the passage where the disciples pleaded with Jesus to increase their faith. This is my prayer as well. 

What do I know? This building is a fortress (at least it has been!) and it also leaks like a sieve. Right now, dealing with the leaks is less a concern than my windows holding. Justin has some finishing touches on the plastic he put up yesterday to better seal it off in my room. We used shower liners, plastic tarp from Dollar Store, and a painter's drop cloth. At first the plan did not work and he got frustrated but I persuaded him to try again using a different method or place for them and it seemed to work. They are in place, at least, which gives me calm. We also have duct tape but he is reluctant to use it, thinking it won't stick to the wood or something. I hope he will try it.

This a.m. I was awake about 3:30 or so and that was it for me. Went to bed early because of not sleeping much the night before and did manage to sleep. I feel like I could sleep again right now, and wish I would sleep until tomorrow. But I have prowling to do, picking stuff up and putting it down again, moving things from pillar to post. My back is bothering me from doing this so it helps to sit for a bit. We have food but I have little appetite, but should have something with my ibuprofen. 

Justin and I are hunkering in the back bedroom for the storm itself so want to have things with me, thinking I will work on stuff. Somehow I doubt that will happen but I have to try to focus on something other than destruction. It's like Justin says, if the house is damaged, it's going to happen whether we are here or not, and if we're here, we can start dealing with it. I went to sleep praying and woke up praying to the Lord for His mercy on us, on all of us. My thoughts are messed up but this is sure, God is our refuge and strength! 

Filled with apprehension

My stomach is in knots, even though I plan to meet Terri for lunch today. There is a serious storm coming our way and it's possible to make landfall here, or come very close. Justin and I are charging our devices so we can at least have them for entertainment, even if we have no Internet or other services. I want to ready things for disaster but Justin just let me know he will help me move the glass stuff away from the windows. I pray the Lord that storm goes east and that my windows don't break. 

My next door neighbor said her hubby wants to board their windows but she said it's so coffin-like. They'd have to do it from the inside, of course, which would then require some repairs once the storm passes. Hardly a concern right now, I guess. I have no plywood and am not sure having it inside would do the trick anyway except if the windows break, it would help keep the rain out somewhat. Ahhhh!  I know I should fear, love, and trust in God above things, but I also fear this pending storm. May the Lord be merciful to us and veer it to the east! 

Justin has some ideas for storing water for toilet flushing for when the power goes out. I wanted a bin into which to put my photo albums and precious things, but he had an idea to use them for water storage. His bathtub as well works for that plus the washer. We can use buckets to catch rain water (plus that water which drips in from above into my living room!) for the toilets if he doesn't want to go down the steps to the pool for water. 

Last night we went to Publix and got a few things to hold us over for when we lose power. Mostly snacks and stuff to eat on bread. I hope we got enough of that type of thing. We have food in the cupboard which can be eaten cold or go to Nancy's house and heat it up on her grille. She is equipped and prepared, even has a gas range! I do hope the power is restored quickly so we don't lose everything in the freezer and fridge, like we did in 2004, twice! Several days then without power. If that happens here, I will have to use the steps. Yikes! Might be good for me, not might, will!

Choosing up sides

The other day I heard a commentator make the remark about how people are choosing up sides on every issue. It doesn't have to be political, either. I personally know some people who are Absolutely Apple go up against those who are Absolutely Android. One 'user' looks down upon the other, almost in disdain. Really, it's not the type of thing where taking up sides is necessary. The whole situation is a matter of personal preference and perhaps budget. 

As a joke, to make the point, the guys on the program were going off on each other over their choices in TV viewing. One would never watch, as an example, "NCIS", while the other guy looked down his nose at "Castle". You get one or the other, not both, it seems. You are either Team NCIS or Team Castle, nothing in between. No margin for discussion or compromise or personal preference. Done! 

In following a certain thread online, folks take firm stances on matters of religion, and I fall into line with some of them. I have zero wiggle room when it comes to a few hard and fast practices, but do see how another person would be a little more willing to allow some give and take on things.  I just had that happen recently with a morning devotion I take in daily. Instead of fantastic organ music one morning there was piano, guitar, banjo, and flute. What? No accordion? I might have managed to hang in except for the strings. Does no one play the violin or viola there? How about the cello or bass? Push, push, push. Ugh! Fortunately I can fast forward through that portion, most usually my favorite part, and get to the reading and sermon. Makes me sad to do it, but my tolerance level is extremely low when it comes to worship. I, too, have chosen up sides, and I am on Team Organ!

Pent up anger

Is the anger pent up or is spewing forth like a fountain? A couple weeks ago Pastor H. mentioned at Bible study how he doesn't remember a time people were so readily angry. The election cycle has really triggered a great deal of animosity developing between people who were previously friends. Most of this is evident on the relatively faceless social media where folks feel they can take much more liberty with their remarks than they would (hopefully!) in face to face conversations. Wow, not a whole lot of reasonable discussing going on, more along the lines spewing forth in sound-byte form. There is little to no hope of even having other people listen, much less change their minds on an issue, especially when heavily laced with venom. 

A lady just waiting for someone to ask, "Why don't you smile?" so she can go off on them

A couple of my friends enjoy posting somewhat taunting posts knowing that some of their 'Friends' list will take the bait and respond to counter the point of the posting. Sometimes it gets a bit rough, and people get 'accosted' by others whom they don't even know. One lady is my friend and really got her butt handed to her by someone responding to our mutual friend's posting. Not good, not good at all. 

Someone I know is full on into the trigger word stuff being encouraged via the university system and seems to lie in wait for just the right social media posting to pull out all the retaliatory ammo (oops, trigger word!) for an assault against whoever posed the offending topic. Abortion---check! Women's rights---check! White privilege---check! Male superiority---check! Black Lives Matter---check! Refugees---check! Rubbing hands together, wondering 'what is the topic de jour to set things off'? 

There are civil ways to discuss topics, and then there are arrogant and ugly ways. I've even had a couple phone calls in recent weeks go badly or take a turn when the person with whom I was speaking took something the wrong way or felt attacked. It was nothing, really, but I felt myself on the defense end of the conversation when I really should not have had to. Posing a question or making an inquiry about nothing even political or controversial, and away we go. Calm down, people, calm down!

I'd like to say everything is going to be all right, but that would not be true. It will not, particularly in the political realm since we find ourselves in the midst of a kakistocracy. The national elections are and will be a disgrace, there is no getting around that. But, in the meantime, we might be doing irreparable harm to our friendships and even family relationships by behaving in such a way toward others, knowing that our disagreements will not change or affect the outcomes of whatever it is being discussed. IF you can even call it discussion. Verbal attacks, using words as clenched fists is not appealing at all. No one wins. Knock it off!

We had a sweet time

Last night Justin finally got his wish---he took his mama to Sweet Pete's Candy Store. They were having a special deal for the month of September, offered only on Monday-Wednesday and it was tough finding a night when it worked for us to go, and for Terri to join us. She had been before, as well, and loved it. The deal was getting a $5 box of candy for $3, bulk, our choice. Wow, the decisions we had to make!! 

 Terri and I posing with our purchases on the beautiful chairs on the porch 

 Does this chandelier make me look fat????

It almost looks like my house in here!

I chose dark chocolate covered cashews plus bought nonpareils in addition to black cherry cotton candy. Nonpareils are among my all time favorites so I was pleased as punch. Justin got something mint and Terri got malted milk balls plus they each bought other stuff. I got what I came for, except for chocolate covered cherries and angel food. Guess I still have to go to Manitowoc for them!

  I don't usually do selfies but did allow Terri to take this one, a 'groupie'!

 These chandeliers took my breath away!  So did the steps in the store!

We dined on the porch after our shopping and that was wonderful also. This place is really a special treat type of experience. As much as Justin likes to think 'the ladies' would love it, my suspicion is that few of the church ladies would be as taken by it as we three were!! 

God Lives Under the Bed

Shared with me by my neighbor, Kay

GOD LIVES UNDER THE BED 

I envy Kevin.  

My brother, Kevin, thinks God lives under his bed.   

At least that's what I heard him say one night. 

He was  praying out loud in  his dark bedroom,  and I stopped to listen,   

'Are you there, God?' he said. 'Where are you?  

Oh,   I see. Under the bed...'

I giggled softly and tiptoed off to my own room.  

Kevin's unique perspectives are often a source of amusement.

But that night something else lingered long after the humor.

I realized for the first time the very different world Kevin lives in. 

He was born 30 years ago, mentally disabled

as a result of difficulties during labor.

Apart from his size (he's 6-foot-2),

there are few ways in which he is an  adult.

 He reasons and communicates with the capabilities

of a 7-year-old,  and he always will. 

He will probably always believe that God lives under his bed,

that Santa Claus is the one who fills the space

under our tree every Christmas

and that airplanes  stay up in the sky

because angels carry  them. 

I remember wondering if Kevin realizes he is different.

Is he ever dissatisfied with his monotonous life? 

Up before dawn each day,

off to work at a workshop for the  disabled, 

home to walk our cocker spaniel,

return  to eat his favorite macaroni-and-cheese for dinner,

and later to bed. 

The only variation in the entire scheme is laundry,

when he hovers excitedly over the washing machine

like a mother with her newborn  child.

He does not seem dissatisfied.

He lopes out to the bus every morning at 7:05, e

ager for a day of simple work.

He wrings his hands excitedly

while the water boils on the stove before dinner,

and he stays up late twice a week

to gather our dirty laundry

for his next day's laundry chores. 

And   Saturdays - oh, the bliss of Saturdays!
That's the day my Dad takes Kevin to the  airport
to have a  soft drink,  watch the planes  land, 

and speculate loudly on the destination of each passenger  inside.

'That one's goin' to Chi-car-go!  'Kevin shouts as he claps his hands.

His anticipation is so great
he can hardly sleep on Friday nights.

And so goes his world of daily rituals
and weekend field trips.
 
He doesn't know what it means to be discontent.

 His life is simple.


He   will never know the entanglements of wealth or power, 

and he does  not care what brand of clothing
he wears or  what kind of food he  eats.
His needs have always been met,
and he never worries that one day they may not  be.

His hands are diligent. 

Kevin is never more happy than when he is working. 

When he unloads the dishwasher or vacuums the carpet, 

his heart is completely in it.
  
He   does not shrink from a job when it is begun,
and he does not leave a job until it is finished.
When his tasks are done,   Kevin knows how to relax.

He is not obsessed with his work
or the work  of others.  His heart is pure. 

He   still believes everyone tells the truth,
promises must be kept, and when you are wrong,
you apologize instead of argue.  

Free   from pride and unconcerned with appearances,

Kevin is not afraid to cry when he is hurt, angry or sorry. 

He is always transparent, always sincere.
And he trusts God. 

Not   confined by intellectual reasoning,
when he comes to Christ, he comes as a child.
Kevin seems to know God -
to really be friends with Him
in a way that is difficult

for an 'educated' person to  grasp. 

God is his closest companion.  

In my  moments of doubt and  frustrations with Christianity,  

I envy the security Kevin has in his simple faith. 
 
It is then that I am most willing to admit

that he has some divine knowledge

that rises above my mortal  questions. 

It is then I realize that perhaps he is not
the one with the handicap.     I am.
My obligations, my fear, my pride,
my circumstances - they all become disabilities
when I do not trust them to God's   care. 
Who knows if Kevin comprehends things I can never learn?  

After all, he has spent his whole life
in that kind of innocence,
praying after dark and soaking up
the goodness and love of God. 

And   one day,
when the  mysteries of heaven are opened,
and we are  all amazed at how close
God really  is to our hearts,
I'll  realize that
God heard  the simple prayers
of a boy  who believed that
God lived  under his bed.

Kevin won't be surprised  at all! 

Lots of thinking going on

This afternoon, after lunch with the Monday ladies, I came home to wait for a phone call from a financial adviser. It was time for my review, and I opted to do it over the phone. Much to my embarrassment, my time with Frank was meant to be in person, and not a phone review as had been originally planned. Ugh! After logging in a number of times to access my records, we finally were able to look at things together, each on our own screens. Thankful for modern technology which allows us to do this, miles apart. Glad that's out of the way for another year, or 6 months, whichever comes first (ha ha).

One thing he asked me to think about, however, is a bit upsetting. Not really upsetting, but really gives me pause for consideration. What might be generally simple for some folks seems to cause me angst.  At present my dear boy stands to inherit from me when I shuffle off this mortal coil. I am cool with that, as is he, primarily hoping to live a long time in this condo after I'm gone. But, Frank asked me who gets my stuff, my estate, if something happens to Justin (may the Lord forbid!!!), or if something happens to us when we're together. Gulp! I have been asked to assign a back-up beneficiary(ies) for just such circumstances. Now, I struggle....who or what should I select? This is tough!