See the faces

We have been having some beastly hot temperatures here lately, as high as 102 above zero at some points yesterday. As I drove home from Middleburg, where I enjoyed a lovely graduation party for Memrie Ross, it was 102, but dropped to 100 when I pulled into my parking place after the 30 minute drive back home later afternoon. I was tempted to get my suit on and go out to the pool but chose to sit in the A/C and talk with Justin for a bit.

Linda Jachimstal, Lee Lawrence, Jacquie McDonald, and me at BasketiqueTeaRoom 

Friday Mo and I were at the pool and got talking with Lucy, who is preparing her home to be sold so she can downsize into a townhome or condo in St. Augustine. She talked about the “things” she has to go through, making decisions for their fate, whether they are worth keeping or could be sold at an estate sale in the future. There is just so much we cannot let go of, many of us having the same problem with these types of decisions. She told about sorting through photos that she had inherited from her mother, and how she is making decisions of what to do with them. If she can no longer see the faces, she is letting go of them. Isn’t that an interesting criteria? Her thinking is that if she cannot tell who it is in the picture any longer, why would anyone else want them? She is marking those she does know and will share them with her cousins whose family members are in the pictures because “you just can’t throw away pictures!” Only if you cannot see their faces any longer. I asked her if it was like throwing people away, and she agreed that it was. 

We ladies talked some more about how valuable capturing moments with our families is to us.  One of the great charms about Facebook is the ability to share and store one’s pictures of their family gatherings, especially now when many folks are feeling isolated at home due to the virus. A few weeks ago I shared a picture of our family taken at my nephew’s wedding (2009) where we are all together, but my sister, Kerry, is hidden behind my nephew and we cannot see her face. I had wanted to have that fixed by my friend who can do such magic, but my nephew strongly objected to my tampering with his wedding picture. WELL!  Anyway, my mom is standing just a step to the side in the front row of the photo. When I originally posted it, one of my friends commented that Mom should have been front and center, and I told her I had to wrestle Mom just to be in the picture. Apparently this type of stuff is not as important to others as it is to me! That is the only family picture we have from over 10 years ago. 

When visiting my mom and family in WI I try to capture pictures of us girls with Mom but it is terribly difficult to get everyone in one shot or even in town at the same time. Sometimes the girls are reluctant participants in the photos. Again, it matters more to me than it does to others, I guess, but someday, those pictures should still be clear enough so we can see the faces, and not end up in the trash bin. In watching the live-streamed funeral service of Anne Hoyer a couple weeks ago, the photo presentation at the end was fabulous. I knew many in the photos with Anne and her smiling face,  pictures with her two sisters and/or their parents. They lived distances apart from each other yet remained so well connected. It was so great to see all the faces. 

A day or so ago a friend of mine posted a lengthy statement about why she will not wear a face mask during this Coronavirus situation. She is logical and measured, having done her due diligence in researching the pros and cons, and with her suffering from asthma and having anxiety issues, she has opted out. Such a firestorm of controversy over this matter! People take it most personally as though my friend is waving a rifle in their direction or has pulled the pin from a live grenade. She is considered dangerous by some (the least dangerous person in any room is she!). Her face is too beautiful to cover and fortunately she doesn’t work is such a place as requires it. But who in the world would have ever thought this would be an issue to fight over?? We are judged by it, accused or mocked, scaring people if we do not have one, when the opposite would have been the case just six months ago! Now if we see their faces, they are our sure enemy, how about that? To go into a bank now we must cover our face. Where in the world (in which worlds?) do we live? The land of the free and home of the brave no longer. 

I won't have it!

Yes, I am getting old and crotchety right along here. Being scolded for not wearing a face mask when going to the store, to protect others, nope, I won't have it! 

Back in 2009 I heard the expression of "new normal" used describing something for which we had to become accustomed, and I liked it. My sister-in-law, Mona, used it and said I could as well. But, I do not like it anymore, especially not the way it is being used these days, to get us to kowtow and knuckle under to the social pressures of compliance. 

Yesterday late afternoon I joined some of my neighbors who were sitting out on the sundeck enjoying a libation. The conversation turned to the pros and cons of wearing face masks and was surprised to hear one lady become downright adamant about wearing them. She wears one to protect me, she claimed, and suggested strongly that I wear one to protect her! The neighbor sitting next to me asked her how long she was going to do that, because every year it is going to be a new disease coming for us. Now that "they" know we are compliant, a face mask can become part of our every day wardrobe. I reminded the ladies that masks are worn everyday in Asia by many, primarily due to air pollution, and face coverings are mandated in many Muslim countries, ahem ahem. That amazing outburst is another reason I do not drink wine. No new normal for me!

Easter of 2020

We are in the midst of the coronavirus pandemic and therefore cannot attend live church services, nor could we have our outdoor Sunrise service at church. What could be done, however, is meet at the church to partake of the Lord's Supper in small groups. Terri and I arranged to meet at 8:00 a.m. with Mike S. Charles joined Terri which was awesome so the four of us communed together, missing the sleeping Justin. The Nardi's were there also, on the other side of the sanctuary. We saw folks leaving when we arrived, only two wearing face masks out of the dozen or so we saw, including one man undergoing cancer treatments. 

Justin's Easter basket done up in a decorative gourd lined with tissue paper 

The pastor had a brief devotion, went through confession and absolution, a couple of Bible readings, and then consecrated the elements for communion. Charles accidentally got one of the white grape juice individual cups, not realizing it until it was too late. I hope we can do this in a full service soon. Mike said, after church, that he told Pastor that the two things he is looking forward to when this is over will be having a live church service again, and having lunch with his friends. This made me cry! Our time together is so important.

Terri, Charles, Sue Bass, and me at church 

After some quick pictures, we went our separate ways. Frank and Sue were going in for communion. I returned home after stopping at the cemetery, empty handed, as I never gave it a thought to get a bouquet from the store. Normally I have one at church on Easter and take that over. No lilies, either. Justin said he saw them at Winn Dixie and should have grabbed one but his hands were full. It was a good thought anyway. Just after noon I went over to The Club to pick up our meals, pre-ordered during the week. Both of us got the prime rib which was yum. I ate mine right away but he ate his when he got up, before going to work. So very good. We got one extra chocolate bread pudding which was nice of them to do. I am a big fan of the dinner rolls they serve. 

Prime ribs, mashed potatoes, mac 'n cheese, and green beans on my picnic plates

I had a very nice day watching the various church services, including our own done in partnership with Victory Lutheran and live streamed. Also watched a concert performed by Andrea Bocelli from the duomo in Milan. At night I watched a service put on by our Synod, a blended worship service with guitars and piano. The sermon was good, presented by the President of the Seminary and the closing hymn was "Abide With Me" which was accompanied on the organ. That was my favorite part! "Hold thou thy cross before my closing eyes; shine through the gloom and point me to the skies. Heavens morning breaks and earth's vain shadows flee; in life, in death, O Lord, abide with me." Joyouse Resurrection Day everyone!

Justin made a fruit pizza for us to enjoy. Had this instead of hot cross buns 

this year. 

Excavating and Purging

Some recent posts and happenings have me pondering a few things. One of the posts is the "40 Day Lent Challenge" where a person is suggested to find something in their home every day for 40 days and place those items in a bag, to donate at the end of the period. My mind said that is not possible, I cannot let go of 40 items except when I clean out my closet. I have actually done that a couple of times, once not long ago.

Another person shared the knowledge of having had to pack out her parent's home and had two weeks to do so. She said she wishes she could serve as a consultant to others on what to keep and what to get rid of well before someone has to do this for us. I did tell her I'd be interested to hear what she has to say. 

Today a friend at church reported having to do basically the same thing for a family member this past weekend and how much stuff was not worthy of being kept. So much work and effort involved in closing out someone else's household, someone else's life collections. 

While my friend was here visiting, she told me about a photograph she has of herself and Timmy, seated on the front steps of our home. She said, "That is my joy picture." My, that touched my heart so deeply! We went on to discuss a movement circulating now of walking through your home and deciding what gives you joy and what not so much, and freeing your home of the no joy items. 

Earlier this year my sisters had the daunting task of closing out my mom's apartment where she'd lived for many years. Even though we'd discussed the 'who got what' and all that some time ago, it still became a struggle when it came down to the actual sorting and packing thereof. Even with plans in place, it still was a chore to actually do it. 

How does a person begin such a purging? What if something happened and I'd suddenly (or Justin would suddenly) have to clean out my house? What do you think you'd absolutely have to keep and of what could you freely be rid? Would those items be something your family or friends would love, or wish to keep, or are they meaningless to others? I believe that if I choose to participate in the 40 day challenge, I can catch up without violating the concept.

A visit from the family

"...there's a whole lotta consuming going on here" or, at least, there was when my family was here visiting. Lynn again brought Lisa and her three boys to FL for a vacation. Sarah, our vacuum cleaner, has been moving about our rooms the past two days since Lynn and family left us, cleaning up the crumbs from the floors for us. It's not like me to want to keep these remnants around but yet it makes me a bit sad to be removing the evidence of boys eating at my tables. 

Lynn and the family spent one night away from 'home', stayed in a B & B in St. Augustine so they could partake of a ghost walk and then visit Ripley's Believe It Or Not. The other nights they were here with Justin and me, enjoying the pool when the weather allowed, having most of our meals at home (Justin and I planned menus for the week, had to scratch a couple of ideas). One night Lisa made dinner for us, a favorite recipe in her family known now as Schlup (named this by Pete Prange when she prepared it years ago when he was a guest at our table). It's official name is Monterrey Chicken. Not one bite remained of that baked dish.

Justin treated us to dinner one night, he was so excited to do so. He got hot chicken from Publix which came with side dishes and Hawaiian rolls. He chose macaroni salad, potato salad, baked beans, and cole slaw. We ate from those side dishes for a couple more meals, but every roll was consumed. The balance of the fried chicken went into the freezer for another time. The only problem with that meal was that he had to wait for more chicken to be cooked, so he ended up doing extra shopping! 

You can see Angelo's plateful of pancakes in front of him

We did get out to eat a few times, twice for breakfast. Gabe so loved his chicken 'n waffles at Metro Diner last year that he wished to return there this year. The rest of the family joined us (last year only Lynn and Gabe came along) and Terri came to have breakfast with us on the Wednesday after they arrived. Everyone was happy with their meals, many of us bringing home what we could not finish. Angelo had silver dollar pancakes but they were more like standard sized ones this time. He got a couple more meals from his take out box. We also had breakfast at Cracker Barrel one morning, had a group of 13 at our table, as Terri had family in town plus Judy Chappell, just back from her cruise to the North Sea region. What a great surprise that was to see her!

Justin's and my names are shown on this wall behind our table

Lynn treated us to dinner one night at Saigon Wok which was wonderful. Huong, the owner, gave our table complimentary rangoons. Everyone loved their meals there and some again took food along home. I treated our group at Steak 'n Shake one day for lunch, another place to eat that the family doesn't have in WI. Terri joined us for lunch then, too, and covered the tip for the table. She's a doll, as the tip was more than her meal would have been! Justin was not with us that day as he had an obligation.

This is Angelo with the Pirateer game. Beyond him you can see the airbed where Gabe slept

Twice at the pool we enjoyed an ice cream treat before having to head for the house when the storms built up. Lynn and I got to watch a couple of movies during her time here, one called "Ladies in Lavender" and the other "Parental Guidance". The boys entertained themselves with their devices, and I'll just leave it at that. A few times they did come up for air and play some Uno and try their hand at a game I had on hand called "Pirateer", since they are fond of pirates. My living room was a dormitory, two air beds inflated in that room, as one boy slept on the sofa in the river room. A real vacation, sprawled out on the furniture with a device in ones hand. 

Lynn and I went to get our toes done at the Orange Park Mall so Lisa could shop. Manny came along with her. This salon at the Mall charged the same as my local place so it was okay in that regard. It took a long time for them to get to us so Justin started to get the dinner going for us at home. He had something happen when home with the two boys. A container of butter fell from the fridge when he opened the door and, in trying to catch it, ended up drop kicking it against the door to the dining room. Crash, bang, pow! Justin could not believe how neither boy even blinked, or looked up, totally oblivious to the racket. Glad the smoke alarm wasn't going off!

Sunday was a big day for us, having an entire row with just my family in it. All of us partook of the Lord's Supper except for Angelo, Mike S. taking our row as one table. Terri caught a picture of us in the pew, knowing I would love that. Manny was confirmed this year but I missed it because of being up in WI earlier when Mom was ill. It was just heart filling to have Lord's Supper with this group and my own boy. For lunch we went to Chili's with Michael and Mike joining us. Terri had other plans for her birthday celebration with family and Betty had to count offering and clean up Lord's Supper so skipped lunch. I steered everyone toward the $8 or $10 menu, and since Justin wasn't at lunch with us (went to the movies with little RJ), I treated two of the boys to lunch. Angelo ate like a thrasher, even eating some of my remaining fries. Lynn thinks he has a hollow leg but he's so skinny! 

On Tuesday morning we got everyone up and fed, and I asked the bigger boys to help with the beds before they left. Justin has a gimpy hip so it's hard for him to bend over to roll the air bed and do that type of thing. We got the beds stripped and all the sheets, blankets, pillow slips, towels, and such in the laundry room. Justin wanted that stuff taken care of to avoid anything being left behind. I think we were successful in that. One last thing, though, as they headed out to the door, I glanced down and saw Angelo's charger yet in the outlet!!  THAT would have been a nightmare for that child, and for anyone else in the airport concourses. Glad I saw it. Lynn messaged that Lisa and she got home and in their beds by 1:00 am on Wednesday morning, dropping the boys off in Sheboygan, a bit later than planned due to weather caused delays. Thanks be to God they got home safely with only delays causing problems. 

And now, to clean up the crumbs and wipe my tears....

A time for memories

Yes, I've been doing lots of remembering these past few weeks. My sister, Kerry, was here the last week in August for a week's stay. It was great having her, however, I couldn't help but remember the time she came down in 2010. That visit was so wonderful, I had fun watching her have fun! It was just awesome. She worked a hateful job at that time (much like this time, actually) and her break in the FL sun was much needed and welcome. Last year's visit shared with Lori and Hurricane Irma brings its own memories, not all pleasant. This year was a do-over for her and I am so glad we had the time together. Still, I can't help but compare the visits.

Kerry watching Hurricane Irma from the river room. Note the wet floor

In the process of remembering, our church is celebrating its 40th Anniversary as a congregation with a special service and fellowship meal on the 16th of this month. Part of my responsibilities include gathering messages from those members not at our church any longer who cannot attend the celebration. I have loved this part of serving on the Committee. As I collect their thoughts and type them into readable form, I get to take trips with them down Memory Lane, some which I recall as well, plus things which took place prior to our moving here to FL. I have typed up a couple memories of my own to be shared, including one particular day in 2001 when our church nearly burst at the seams for Timmy's funeral service. It saddens me to think how if something like that happened today, how different it might be at my church with so much that's happened since 2001. That is a loss in itself.

Terri T. is busily scanning photos for a slide show presentation to be played during our meal the day of the anniversary. She asked if it would bother me to have photos with my former spouse in them. I assured her that would be just fine because, at that time, he was quite integral in many aspects of the congregation life. More memories in those photo albums and packets of pictures!

At present, Hurricane Florence is bearing down on the US, aiming right at the Carolina's. Some of our invited guests are in those areas facing potential damage and are not sure they'll come, hating to leave their homes, or if they come, can they get home again...Boy, that brings back memories of last year's visit from Irma and the old "should I stay or should I go?" quandary. "And, if we go, what happens to our house, how can we take care of things if we can't get back here???" 

The news is also about the memories of the terror attacks on 9-11-01, revisiting those days immediately afterward when the nation rallied in support of the USA. Those "9-12" days have passed, slipped away. It gives me the same feeling of what has gone away since folks gathered for Timmy's funeral, and how the nation rallied for a period of time against our enemies, but now are war weary. I know it's odd to have those two issues compared but the feeling in my heart makes it match up. 

On my one podcast the radio host was talking about the acrid aroma that hung in the air of NYC for a long while after the attacks. The smell was of incineration, burned building materials, paper, bodies, and debris, wet debris. It triggers memories for those who were there in those days every time they catch a whiff of that type of smell. It's a real trigger, not a personal slight, of what they experienced in those days where the attacks took place. Scent is a real trigger. There is even an ad on TV that is meant to be funny of a younger lady being approached by a senior citizen in the grocery store. The older lady compliments the younger lady because she smells just like her late husband! Who doesn't love that?? You must get the muscle relaxer that doesn't smell!! Every time I go down the baby aisle at the grocery store I look to see if they have Mennen Baby Bath which is what I used for my kids. It's not made any longer but yet, I look for it. I just want to smell it again and be transported to those special bath times. Ah, those are fond memories....

Can't versus won't

A few days ago I was thinking of something my friend, Kathy, told me about visiting old folks' homes. She said she could not go along Christmas caroling because she "can't go to nursing homes". Her mother-in-law actually lived in such a place and apparently Kathy never went to see her. Perhaps her husband brought his mom to their house for visits since she was quite able-bodied in those days. Anyway, somehow Kathy would spend time with her mother-in-law but not in the home. In all honesty, it wasn't that Kathy could not go into the home to visit her, she wouldn't do it. As you know, there really is no reason to think you cannot go into an old folks' home, you simply don't want to!

How much in our lives do we claim we cannot do when what we really mean is that we don't want to do it? I think of myself with certain foods which I claim I do not like but have never tried. What is up with that? Justin recently coaxed me into trying a cheesy seafood dip one night at dinner, thinking I would like it. Out of character, I did give it a taste and wow!, I loved it. Now I get some every time I am at Publix (has to be Publix brand) and enjoy it on a cracker or five as my afternoon snack. How long have I gone without this delight in my life, simply because I don't like fish???  The seafood in the dip is actually the 'fake' crab meat which is tolerable, not fishy at all. I really needed one more food in my life, right?