This is being a friend!

The highest honor of friendship isn't being invited to "that party" or out on a girls weekend.

It's not clinking champagne glasses at fancy brunches or wearing matching shirts on a beach in Florida.

That all is nice and fun and good and special, but it's not what it's about, not at all.

The real honor of friendship is being invited into someone's REAL.

It's getting an invitation into the nitty gritty, the not-so-pretty, the hard stuff, the vulnerable stuff, the weird stuff, the unpolished stuff.

It's being welcomed into a home where the sink is full of dishes and the laundry is covering the couch.

It's entering the places of heart ache and pain.

It's being invited to the hospital room when your friend is still in her mesh underwear from birth.

It's sitting cross-legged in old sweats on the floor and laughing till you cry.

It's carrying around secrets that you've been trusted to keep.

It's listening and hearing.

It's holding space for each other.

It's answering phone calls just to talk something through.

The highest honor of friendship isn't found in beautifully planned events or brightly filtered photos.

The highest honor of friendship is messy and dingy and real.

It's in unfiltered photos of laughing so hard your double chin is showing.

It's loving each other's babies and holding each other while you ugly cry.

I can't stress this enough:

If you've been invited into even one person's real, you are blessed.

Cherish it.

Author: @wonderoakbyjessjohnston

A new adventure!

The other day I was reading on Facebook (I am not afraid of it like some are!) and came upon an announcement for a restart of a writing group in Clay County. I replied to the post via email and informed them I would be there. Today was our first gathering! 

We met at the Orange Park Library in the meeting room, a nice group plus the moderator, Lou. We went around the room to introduce ourselves and explain what is our genre. Several of the younger people were science fiction writers or thrillers. Others were mystery. I was alone with the biography/memoir theme, but one man who leads a similar group to this one was a ghost writer for other people's biographies. How cool is that?!

We talked for almost two hours to establish our format, much of which Lou had already determined since he had been part of other writing groups in the past. We will meet monthly and Lou will arrange for speakers to address the group: editors, self-publishers, other services needed for writing a book. This is going to be exciting. I like meeting new people and look forward to spending time with these folks at least once a month, more if we hit it off as friends!

Years ago, I was part of a writer's group where each time we met we shared something we'd written and the others would critique it. We met in an area coffee shop, which is now a Moe's BBQ. Sometimes it was distracting because people would come in and out, not realizing what we were doing. On occasion I knew people and I had to quickly explain that we were having a meeting. This group was such a blessing for me, the answer to a prayer. It gave me a different thing to think about besides what was happening to my life. The man who led it was a magazine editor for his living and ran this group as a hobby. It was so enjoyable. When Richard moved away, we ceased meeting but it was great while it lasted. 

My friend, Christine, took interest in the group and attended a few times. She was a journal writer, another genre, usually not for publication, but was a writer nonetheless. We two ladies would attend a couple of Writer's Conferences which we held at The Beaches but have also faded away. Those were really good times! Loved staying at the hotel and mingling with others who loved to write, and some who even made money doing so.

Let's hope this group continues to grow and becomes like a family to our attendees. At least to me! 

Meeting my friend, Deborah

One day I was bobbing about in the pool at The Club and met this lady who was there with her daughter. As often happens, we began talking. I asked if they were new members, which they were, and found out where they lived on the property. It turned out the mom was a teacher and was going to be working at AMI-Kids in Green Cove Springs, a school I had never heard about before that day. The school is the boys' version of Pace for Girls, which I announced to my new friend and her daughter. They were well aware of Pace, the daughter having been a student of Pace years earlier in West Palm Beach, from where they moved. Cool! I was so interested to hear about the school and work Deborah would do there. How can I help?  

Michaela, her daughter, was still looking for work and I asked her in what type of job was she interested. She said she can cook, do housekeeping, retail, and a few other things, mainly looking for employment nearby. The ladies were a bit frustrated that nothing had panned out so far, and I asked, "Have you applied here?", gesturing toward The Club. "Where?", they asked, and I motioned again at The Club. The looks on their faces was priceless, so near and yet so far! We just laughed and laughed, and Michaela planned to go over and apply the next time they were open. (Spoiler--she got a job in the kitchen!) 

Well, Deborah and I really hit it off and became fast friends. We were almost exactly the same age, she being less than three months older than me.  She had a storied past, two children, this was her second career, and was sent here by God to work at the school. I do believe she was sent, because she was a true blessing to me! Deborah had extended degrees and yet she hung out with me. We spent a good deal of time together before school started. Some other friends and I helped her to gather some items needed for the students and their classrooms. Because they were high-risk students, there were limits to what they could have as far as school supplies, but many came from indigent backgrounds, badly in need of basic supplies such as socks, belts, underwear, snacks, etc. Much like the clothing give-aways done for Pace, AMI-Kids had not quite caught on that way yet. I knew many people on their Board so I could see the boys were in good hands, and were in Deborah's hands. 

Deborah also liked to cook. Once my doorbell rang and there she stood with a plate of homemade pasta sauce (she was Italian!) on spaghetti. Oh, my, was it delicious! I never minded having food brought to my door, especially if she made it! And, she often mentioned that French fries were her kryptonite, and no one better get in between Deborah and fries! 

When people came out to the pool and saw us together, more than one person asked if we were sisters. That was so complimentary to us both! Once, we each ordered similar, not quite matching, swimsuits from Amazon, without even conferring with each other. Deborah and I would spend hours talking with each other, eventually in a restaurant after pool season ended. We loved Tom & Betty's which was close to home for us both, and also Saigon Wok, which was on her drive home from school. We would close the place up on occasion! One particular conversation involved a potential change in her job, which would be less money but more up her alley to help the boys. Because she wanted the new role at the school, she needed to downsize her living situation, so, sadly, Deborah moved from The Club property. That did cramp our fun, but we made sure to keep up with each other, just not quite so easily. 

Deborah was deeply involved in her church. Here is a funny story from our very early on relationship: Deborah, being new to the area, asked me if I knew of a church she could go to. From our conversations up to this point, I knew a Lutheran church was not what she was looking for. I told her that I had gotten a flyer in the mail from a new "happy clappy church" but did not keep it.  She said that was what she was looking for!! I had to laugh about that, and fished the flyer from the trash. Deborah became integral in their women's ministry and even conducted Bible studies in the area jails for the ladies. I donated many suitable books for adding to the jails' libraries for their use, for which Deborah had asked. So glad to be able to help her in this way, even though it took our time when she was leading Bible study somewhere. That all got frozen when Covid hit. Later, that is what took my friend...I have more, for another time! 

Turning the page on the blog

 

I just love people! In 2005 I bought a condo in The Palace and began the process of fixing it up to suit our needs. Justin was still in high school, this move shortening our commute dramatically. After having wallpaper removed and walls repainted, some of the floors having laminate installed, we moved in in January 2006. We had to wait for our kitchen cabinets to be installed but otherwise friends helped us get settled in. It was then that I began meeting my neighbors in this 26 unit building on the St. Johns River. Justin and I also joined The Club Continental, a private club on the property where our building was located. There, too, we met many wonderful folks whom I never wish to forget. This blog will help me remember for a long time, I hope.

In August of 2021 I relocated from The Palace to Fleming Island Plantation, residing now in a shared villa. Quite an adjustment for me from my communal living of the last 15 years. This blog is now to help me remember the fine folks I met at The Palace, the stories of my life there, and those I met at The Club Continental, where I continue to hold membership. 

Airplane Stories

The other day I was digging through the papers which were removed from my desk in order to set up the new monitors and computers. There I found a card for a business at the Beaches from a man named Diondree.  His business involved art and design, interiors, and more. My conversation with him took place in the waiting area at the airport in Atlanta after he overheard me talking to Justin about my flight to JAX being delayed. It was my birthday, and Justin was going to pick me up and we were going out to eat to celebrate. Except, now we will not because of the flight delay. After I hung up with Justin, this very nice fellow came over and gave me his card, asking where I lived. I told him I lived in Orange Park and was returning from visiting family in WI for the holidays. I had hoped to be home in time to celebrate my birthday with my son. He said he heard me talking on the phone and felt badly that I would miss my special meal with my son. He handed me his card, saying after the New Year, I should come to his shop at the Beaches and he would give me a piece of artwork from his collection, to make up for missing my birthday dinner. How nice is that??!! Who else has had this happen to them while sitting the seats at the airport? It was so cool for me, and I hope he felt good about reaching out to me on my birthday. 

 I never did take advantage of his offer (I wonder if it is still good?) but what a lovely gesture from him to me, two strangers in the airport, and his sympathy for my situation. Awesome, just awesome!  As memory serves, Justin picked me up before midnight that night, and he had a burger on hand for me to eat in the car, my special birthday burger! 

Me with my watercolor painting displayed at Thrasher-Horne Center which later became a graduation gift to my niece, Alayna. The painting used only two colors-cerulean and alizeron crimson. A fun project, and I got juried into the show! 

What a Mess That Turned Out to Be!

As I am listening to the Clay and Buck Show, whose tagline is "With Time Slot on Loan From Rush", they are recounting some of the foolishness put in place for the virus the past couple of years. In some places, the restrictions are yet in place including on airplanes, where wearing face masks is still required. Many are hoping that restriction gets dialed back sooner rather than later, especially since the air on the planes is considered to be already well filtered. The airlines are ready to let go of it, too much time spent on enforcement, but the unions (again!) are the ones dragging their feet on it. Sure does make air travel that much more less enjoyable. Recently I ate at Cracker Barrel with Terri, and I noticed so many folks were yet wearing face masks. You would think that they would notice that hardly anyone else was sporting such coverings but some folks are of such a mind that the mask is a security device rather than beneficial to one's health. We have some older folks at church who continue to wear face masks, even in the pew, as they sit alone, in the front row. I asked the lady once what that was about and she said, "Oh, I guess we're just used to them..." Yup, I am sure that is what has happened to so many people. That didn't really take long, did it?

Sometimes I see people alone in the car, driving down the street, wearing a face mask. Now, are they so brainwashed by the press and faux medical reports that they are too scared to take them off? They are dependent on them, psychologically scared out of their wits of the virus. The media sure did a good job of freaking people out, and the leaders in the communities and even the churches backed up the fear invoked by those supposedly in the know. People were just so freaked out about being within 6', that magic number!, that folks would walk in front of moving cars on River Road to avoid passing too close to others walking along, outdoors. Oh, for heaven's sake!! First we did not need a face mask, it is of no use, later finding out that was a lie to prevent a run on the supply. Studies are showing now that the masks and all that other stuff was not as beneficial as we were lead to believe. Washing our hands for two minutes, while singing "Happy birthday" was another idea for practicing good handwashing when some thought the virus was shared on surfaces. "Don't touch your face!" "Keep your hands away from your eyes!" "Don't handle your mask!" It used to make me chuckle that restaurant workers would be wearing "sanitary" gloves while handling our food, dishes, napkins, etc. and then handling our credit cards and money! But, yes, please, wear the gloves!

Reading my Facebook Memories from 2020 it is noted that I still went to the store and would even shop for my neighbors if they did not wish to go out, at first seeing only an occasional mask and/or glove wearer. Such a false sense of security from the gloves, ridiculous! Anyway, I was and continue to be a serious user of hand sanitizer, having been on the receiving end of 1000 wrapped wipers back in 2015, from Justin! Our friend, OJ, was and is the same as me, so we were cool before everyone else. I am just neurotic, speaking for myself, not liking to handle the ketchup bottle or salt shakers in restaurants. People are used to me being that way. Also, I need to sit facing the door, though some in my group pooh pooh that desire of mine. 

My desire to go out, and interact with others, was stronger than my terror of the virus or of public scrutiny. My friends, Mo and Ro, joined me at the pool over at The Club most days during the lockdown, where we would sit at the tables after Mo would thoroughly scrub the chairs and table top with her sanitary Clorox wipes. She was being torn between being reasonable and scared out of her wits by their older daughter, who was a kindergarten teacher. Daughter was totally freaked (she is not a union member but reads their literature). Daughter would do the grocery shopping and leave it in the foyer or away from the main house to let the germs die before putting things away. So, it was total freak out on one hand and "let's go sit at the pool" on the other hand. 

Our WELS churches around here closed, my church closing for two months, out of concern for how it would look to the community if we continued to meet. I know it was a tough decision position to be in; it sure doesn't look good if a church that was preaching Fear Not! was alive with it! But, it was happening in communities that people would call the police if they saw too many cars parked at a certain place, even at people's homes!, as the mayor of Jacksonville put limits on how many could gather in one place at one time. Even at the grocery or other stores, no more than 50 people, including staff! Ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous. Anyway, back to church. Fortunately, Victory Lutheran had some systems already in place to broadcast via Facebook or the Internet so our pastor would go over there and he would share pastoral duties with their new pastor, Troy Schreiner. That poor guy really had a rough start here in Jacksonville between waiting a month to close on their home, having a hurricane brush by, and then preaching to an empty sanctuary! They would have an organist, sound person, and perhaps a couple others in the sanctuary and conduct a service which could be viewed live or later. Many other congregations were able to do the same type of thing so I got to watch services from all over the place, a silver lining to this situation! Lots of preaching in empty sanctuaries, reminded me of "Eleanor Rigby", by the Beatles!

                                        

                                 Terri and me on Easter Sunday, 2020, at church

Because our congregation was so small, it was not difficult for us to resume our in person worship just about two months after closing. We did get to partake of the Lord's Supper on two occasions during the shut down, once on Easter and again the following month. Pastor did a brief devotion for 9 people (only 10 people allowed in the room at a time then) and then offered us the Supper. The usual folks with whom I normally communed arranged to meet at that same time so we could attend together. Pastor would do this until he had to leave to join Pastor Schreiner over at Victory Lutheran for the worship broadcast. A church in our area, St. Peter (LCMS) where several of our members had joined, had such services every week, sometimes 19 times, until everyone who wished to attend and be served the Lord's Supper was taken care of.  For fear of transferring the virus on the hymnal pages, they were removed from the pews and ribbons separating the rows were put in place so we would sit only every other row. As Rush would say, symbolism over substance, but some people were so terrified about coming back that the leadership had to make it as "safe" a place as they could. As far as I was concerned, if a person was so scared, they should stay home. Like I said, it was a conundrum for the church leaders, fearing looking bad to the community or freaking out their members.

Our church also began a practice of video-streaming our service via Facebook, a practice continued to this day,  so those at home or away can watch LIVE services, or watch later. We eventually got our hymnals back though the practice of printing the entire service in the bulletin has now stuck and will continue.  Soon we will be updating our streaming abilities, more professionally done, as funds and time allow. There is movement to purchase the new hymnal and accompanying publications so we will be forced to get with the times. Hanging on for the dear life...

Love the Impromptu

Earlier today I let Linda know that I was going to be absent from our appointment to watch "The Five" tonight because of being invited to an art show opening at Santioni's Restaurant. I hate to leave Linda, cherish the time, but I had not spent time with my dear friend, Dee, the artist being shown, since last year! Just before the lockdown, Dee and Julia, former proprietors of Great Hang Ups Gallery, had met me for brunch at Just a Pinch on Fleming Island. It was going to be wonderful to see Dee and view her art show, with Jan Koss.  

                  

Some of Dee's artwork on display at Santioni's 

Friend, Mo, was not available to have lunch because of a dental appointment but she was free for dinner. I explained about the art show and suggested we have dinner while there. VERY early for me to eat, I reserved for us at 5:15, knowing that we would see the show and talk with enough people in an hour's time in the Amalfi Room at the restaurant. They were serving free pizza and wine but I brought my own soda, and Mo had some wine. It was just awesome to see my old friends from the Orange Park Art Guild, many of whom urged me to come back, even though I told them I was done with painting. 

One of the ladies I had mentored when I was involved in AGOP was there, and showed us some of her work which is permanently on display in the Amalfi Room. She did not really need a mentor! When the frame store closed, Julia went on to teach art, and many of my supplies went with her for use in the classroom. My time of painting had run its course and I was glad to share my supplies with those who could really use them. Sadly, Julia was not there last night, would have loved to see her again. 

Mo and I were seated in the main dining room at a cozy little table. She once more insisted on paying for my meal because of the assistance I am lending to Roland with his re-election efforts. Then, we got free dessert because Mo had asked for no cheese on her meal and it came with cheese anyway. The waitress felt badly even though the cheese peeled right off (who does not want cheese??). Mo had Key Lime Pie and I had a small styro cup of chocolate ice cream. We so enjoyed the time together, talking for hours, as is our practice! 

It was such a nice event and wonderful meal, Mo even knew a couple of people there, and met many more. At one point she told our hostess, Jan, that this was the first art reception that she had ever attended, and Jan told her to stick with "this girl" for many more firsts. Oh my!  I must really step up my game. Most assuredly I have lost a step in my older age here. As we drove home, Mo at the wheel, she said, "Don't you just love the impromptu things?" Yes, yes, I do!!!  God bless you, Mo!!!