The Rules of Civility

Years ago I gave Justin a book copied by George Washington titled "Rules of Civility and Decent Behavior", originally written by Jesuits in the late 1500's. Justin liked it so much that this year he tackled the same project as Washington's of copying sections of it into a composition notebook, a resolution of sorts. Many of those rules are quite unusual such as 'a gentleman does not sit in mixed company with his feet crossed.' What possible difference would that make? Or, shift around in your seat or 'gnaw on one's nails'. Good advice for the ages. 

This sound advice about civility and practicing decent behavior came to mind after a few events recently. My friends, Bill and Nancy, told me about an incident which occurred later on July 4th while they were waiting for the fireworks. A rowdy group of folks, adults and kids, plus a dog were carrying on at the teen's pool. Obviously had been drinking as they were consuming beer from glass bottles. These are a lot of no no's for the pool area (no pets, no glass around the pool). 

Pretty soon they headed toward the adult pool and were making quite a commotion in so doing. The adults told the kids to get into the pool but Bill said it was for adults only. Apparently there was poop in the teen pool so that is why they moved up to the adult's end. One of the inebriated guys used filthy language at Bill and Nancy about minding their own business. Bill stood up to go to The Club to get a manager and the guy sort of charged at him as if to fight. Bill motioned that he was not fighting and went up to get help. It was pretty upsetting for Bill and Nancy as this is certainly not typical behavior around our beloved pool. It turned out one of the group was a member while the rest were guests. There was no need for it to get ugly and for the filthy language or threats to take place. Unacceptable!

Yesterday the CO kids were out at the pool with me. They challenged each other to a swim race from one end to the other. As they finished their race, a woman who was seated in the smoking area off of the pool started making cat calls at them, critical of their swimming skills. I had no idea who this woman was nor did she know me or the kids. She came charging over and challenged them to a race, and dropped the F bomb on them. Just out of the blue, as if normal conversation. I looked at Nancy and she looked at me, wondering if we heard that correctly. Why would this woman do such things?

The four of them raced to our end of the pool, with Chris the victor. I cheered for him, of course. Some of my other neighbors were out in the pool with us, they being on the shady side during the race. This woman asked how old they were and Chris said he was 17. She said, "Well, I'm 43 so F you!" Okay, that's enough of that! I yelled out, "Hey, I am responsible for these kids!" and to them I said, "I'm sorry, guys..."  She turned to look at me and gave me a look, turned back to them as if to say, "Whatever..."  In a few minutes the kids went down to the other end to the teen's pool and sure enough, she went down there, too. Her son was down there swimming so she should have been where he was anyway. 

After she left the adult pool, the others out there was asking, "What was that all about?" and "How rude!", stuff like that. Another older lady witnessed this as well and just shook her head. Appalling, simply appalling behavior from this total stranger. Later the kids said she continued using rough language on the other end but they basically ignored her. I explained to them how I didn't know this person and hoped to never encounter her again. Ugh!

Today, as I was driving to Fleming Island, I was waiting at the light near Pace Island, a few cars from the front. The light changed but we didn't move. I realized then the first car was stalled. I felt so badly for them, knowing how awful this situation could be. We had to wait for traffic around us to clear in order to go around and I thought I might pull up next to them to see if they needed to call someone or AAA. But as I waited for my turn, the other cars were going around, and sure enough, the driver reached out her finger and flipped them off. Not sure what brought that on but I had had enough of this type of behavior to last me. I did not stop to ask if they needed help, seeming to have things well 'in hand'!

There is a line in one of the "Seinfeld" episodes where an exasperated George exclaims, "You know, we live in a society!!"  The Rules of Civility should still apply and or better yet, the Golden Rule of loving the Lord and others, and conducting ourselves in a God-pleasing fashion. 

Signed,

Exasperated Kim