The other day Linda and I were talking about what I witnessed at Cracker Barrel. We discussed how wonderful that gesture was of the younger man and his family toward the older couple, giving them some money toward their restaurant bill. I expressed to Linda how sad I was prior to this, seeing the aloneness in the lady's face as she warmed her hands on her coffee cup; how the man rested his face on his hand as if he was in misery. I wondered if they had had an argument or something that they weren't speaking or even looking at one another. And then it changed when the young man stopped at their table with his gift. Like a burden was lifted or something. I speculated to Linda that perhaps the young man told them they reminded him of his grandparents, maybe?? I'd love to think that's what he told them.
We wondered how that happens in relationships, in marriages. When did the words dry up? How could people not have anything to say? Both Linda and I are talkers which makes it that much more difficult to comprehend. There is lots to talk about, even if only about the menu, or how hot the coffee was. I remember an episode of "Everybody Loves Raymond" when Debra and Raymond finally went on a date and found they had nothing to talk about. Having watched the show on occasion I can certainly see why, but for the sake of this episode, it came as a surprise to them. Mostly to Debra, as Raymond is fairly unaware of things other than himself. All they could talk about was the butter. Now, I can hold my own talking about butter, but I am not limited to it!
They struggled to think of anything they had in common to converse about other than their kids or families. It was supposed to be funny but it was also thought provoking. How did this happen to them? I would guess having three children including a set of twins is a distraction, as would the constant intrusion of Ray's parents. Without their family, they had nothing else to share. They tried to find a hobby to share including golfing but that didn't go well. Eventually they decided to just drop it, and leave things the way they were. Such a grey existence but then again, for them, it worked. I like to think grey is not my best color!
2 comments:
You are right. It IS sad, and how does it happen?
I think we have to keep each other as priority. We have to share activities and experiences to talk about. We have to realize we have to try hard at times to "be" together.
But then again ... there's something to be said for being able to sit in the presence of your best friend and enjoy yourselves saying absolutely nothing at all.
Cheers!
Hi Jami!
So glad to have you read and comment! Now days so many folks have entertainment devices in front of them in public (and at home, I'm betting) which can often replace conversation. Even children! When my son and I are together, it's a gabfest, which may or may not include him showing me something on his phone.
When I'm with friends we have shared interests to discuss including church stuff, pool stuff, and other activities in common. With some I can talk about current events and others, not so much!
I've been unmarried now for over 10 years (I can't believe that) so it's not easy for me to identify with your lovely scenario of sitting quietly and comfortably with my 'best friend'. I rejoice over that for you! God's blessings to you and yours, and keep talkin'!
Hugs,
Kim
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