A few years ago we had three funeral services in what seemed like rapid succession for older members. I remember making the comment that we were getting just too good at making the sandwiches and preparations for funerals. This was going to have to stop! We did go a long time without having to say "good-bye" to one of our members and for that we can say, "Thank you, Lord!"
On the one hand, we are a selfish lot---we want to keep our loved ones with us, we do not want to have to mourn for them. That is one reason why we ask our family members to hang on, fight harder, take every treatment, battle to the very end against their illness, if illness is what takes them home. On the other hand, we encourage each other to remain steadfast in the faith, so we can all be together in heaven, our home. Sometimes 'going home' is sudden, as in Gloria's case, or a long difficult struggle, like Gordy's fight. Gordy gave it everything he had and then said, "Enough!" A sad choice but really the only one for him.
On the one hand, we are a selfish lot---we want to keep our loved ones with us, we do not want to have to mourn for them. That is one reason why we ask our family members to hang on, fight harder, take every treatment, battle to the very end against their illness, if illness is what takes them home. On the other hand, we encourage each other to remain steadfast in the faith, so we can all be together in heaven, our home. Sometimes 'going home' is sudden, as in Gloria's case, or a long difficult struggle, like Gordy's fight. Gordy gave it everything he had and then said, "Enough!" A sad choice but really the only one for him.
On the way to the church I stopped at Publix to get my assorted cheesecake dessert for the luncheon and decided to pick up some tissues in case no one else had. Good thing I did! I put the boxes in handy places for the mourners and a box in back for the rest of us. First, though, I went into the fellowship hall to leave my dessert and had a quick chat with Ethel. She said that Gordy used to ask her what she was bringing for fellowship or would find out which treat was hers, saying she would miss that about him. We all have such fond memories of Gordy.
I went into the church from the breezeway door and was quite taken aback to see the coffin in front of the church, covered with the funeral pall. The first time being used! It hit me like a ton of bricks because it was purchased with money from a memorial of another dear member and had yet to be pressed into service. How perfect that it was being used for Gordy's service. It was purchased after Timmy's funeral and would have been too large for his small coffin.
Carol met me in the back of the church and said it was the surprise of it that got me. She told me she was doing her very best to keep her tears inside but knows I would not. Carol did mention how, on the way over that morning, she was thinking about what advice to give Terri. She decided to tell her to listen for my voice, and focus on it. That is what Carol did for her mom's funeral and I still have the lovely note she wrote me, telling me how much that helped. After Carol told me this, I had to 'brace myself like a man', as God told Job, and sing bravely those perfect hymns.
Carol met me in the back of the church and said it was the surprise of it that got me. She told me she was doing her very best to keep her tears inside but knows I would not. Carol did mention how, on the way over that morning, she was thinking about what advice to give Terri. She decided to tell her to listen for my voice, and focus on it. That is what Carol did for her mom's funeral and I still have the lovely note she wrote me, telling me how much that helped. After Carol told me this, I had to 'brace myself like a man', as God told Job, and sing bravely those perfect hymns.
I had help with that, too. As I sat a row behind where the mourners would be seated, tears were dripping down my cheeks as I listened to the pre-service hymns being played. All of a sudden, a dear hand rested on my arm---Jennifer and her pastor/husband from Merritt Island!!!! Thank you, Lord, for sending reinforcements!
Jennifer told me they had been to visit Gordy at the end of December after CHRISTmas but did not have time for other stops. I understand, of course, and besides, I had company already! She also reminded me that Gordy had walked her down the aisle when she married David, a wedding I had attended in Orlando. Justin had gotten a cut on his arm at the hotel just prior to the wedding, for which we had to buy bandages---that's my primary remembrance of their wedding! That, and Joan Wright being her matron of honor. Jennifer and I used to sing soprano together in our church choir so I knew we'd be okay. We helped each other sing---I sang when she could not. She sang "I Know That My Redeemer Lives" when I could not, and sang together, "In Christ Alone".
Jennifer told me they had been to visit Gordy at the end of December after CHRISTmas but did not have time for other stops. I understand, of course, and besides, I had company already! She also reminded me that Gordy had walked her down the aisle when she married David, a wedding I had attended in Orlando. Justin had gotten a cut on his arm at the hotel just prior to the wedding, for which we had to buy bandages---that's my primary remembrance of their wedding! That, and Joan Wright being her matron of honor. Jennifer and I used to sing soprano together in our church choir so I knew we'd be okay. We helped each other sing---I sang when she could not. She sang "I Know That My Redeemer Lives" when I could not, and sang together, "In Christ Alone".
One of Gordy's daughters told me yesterday, "I'm an ugly crier!" She told me this afterward, during the luncheon, when she said she had to listen as the congregation sang "On Eagles Wings". It reminded her of her mom who had preceded Gordy in death, and how Gloria sang that hymn around the house all the time. If Gayle let herself go, she was nearly sobbing and choking, she said. "I'm an ugly crier!" Both her parents used a couple hymns in common for their services and as far as the kids go, this will be the reminder of their parents! Believe me, I get that! As I told Jennifer's hubby yesterday, when he asked about Timmy's anniversary, that is the reason we choose the hymns we do---to share the message of the hope we have, the wonderful story in the stanzas, the joy expressed for reaching the heavenly home....but we still miss our loved ones gone ahead.
The music before and during was nicely done, featuring three different pianists: Kurt, a long time friend of Gordy's who plays piano by ear; Kathy B.; and Robbie, The Maestro, who accompanied the grandsons who played clarinet and sax on one hymn. Suzanne played nearly every hymn, even accompanied Kurt who used no music--a real challenge. But she did wonderfully, and told me afterward, as did Kurt, that they discovered they can play and cry at the same time. I have trouble singing and crying at the same, but not singing nicely while crying!
The sermon reading was from Romans and whether selected by Gordy or not, I do not know, but Pastor was able to interweave things about Gordy with these passages. Mike C. did a reading from Psalm 61, this reading being significent since he had spent so much time with Gordy these past few months, in particular the day he died. Mike, who knew Gordy since childhood, also served as acolyte for the service, another special honor.
We also read from John 11, the story of Lazarus which was also used as Timmy's funeral sermon. Twila's sister was with her at the funeral yesterday and she asked if Nick's funeral had been held at this church. Twila said it was, and I told Elaine how lovely that service was, since Twila was a bit choked up at the moment. 'The Jailer at Philippi' was Nick's sermon theme, I remember it well.
We also read from John 11, the story of Lazarus which was also used as Timmy's funeral sermon. Twila's sister was with her at the funeral yesterday and she asked if Nick's funeral had been held at this church. Twila said it was, and I told Elaine how lovely that service was, since Twila was a bit choked up at the moment. 'The Jailer at Philippi' was Nick's sermon theme, I remember it well.
The family stood outside to greet people for some time after the service so I decided to go inside and get something to eat. As I came through the line, not being the first one, I took a brat bun on my plate, only to be informed that the brats were gone! Rats! Instead, then, I took one of the three ham sandwiches on the tray as Ethel came by. She said, as I dressed my sandwich, that we were out of meat! Yikes! Most of the immediate family was yet outside, so it seems someone was doing a chicken run and came back with some bucketsful to add to the bounty on the tables. Of course, there were at least 20 casseroles or other dishes to choose from so it was not truly a crisis situation but still......Mike C. had made the brats in memory of Gordy as this was his favorite, and it seems, every one's favorite!
After the luncheon, we loaded into cars and headed to the National Cemetery near the airport for the military rites and committal service. It was a long ride but a good chance to sit and rest in my heated seats. On the way, though, I decided that when I got home again in the afternoon, I was definitely going to lie down and take a nap! My eyes were like pokers from all the tears, and I felt a wreck. I am ugly crier, too, it seems!
