Last night I read a lovely post from a newer friend of mine who served on the Board with me at The Club. Doris wrote how her door is always open, her sofa is perfect for comforting, and tea is always at the ready in case anyone is hurting and needs to talk. I love that! She went on to say how January is often depressing for many folks, with the third Monday being the day the most suicides take place. To what is this attributed? She didn't say, but my guess is the let down following the build-up of the holidays, putting the decorations away, the bills start to come, tax info arrives in the mail, the weather is grumpy...All that stuff. Yes, it can all be a real downer.
For me January is sad for an additional reason. It was in this month that my world turned upside down, having my son die. The sorrow is now less but flares up as the anniversary draws near. Timmy died on the 14th and his funeral service was the 19th, what would have been his 5th birthday. I am so glad we chose to do that day, it simply had to be that day. When I was in WI recently my mom was talking about how long it takes to get to the airport. My sister, Kerry, had asked and when I answered it was about 30 minutes, Mom corrected me. She was emphatic that it took 45 minutes because she rode back and forth to the airport multiple times during that 'funeral week' as our families traveled. She has forgotten that I live much closer to the freeway now.
Today is also the anniversary of the passing of a dear friend from church, Gordy. I was so mad at myself that day, having intended to stop at the Hospice facility on my ride back from Bible study. I was so deeply engrossed in a radio program that I drove right passed the exit, forgetting about wishing to turn there. I decided to just go back that evening...As it turned out, Gordy had likely died about the time I missed the exit. Michael was there with him, being his long time family friend, as were a couple other church members, plus his family. Remembering this always makes me sad, and mad at myself for forgetting to exit.
In my e-mails this afternoon came a notice from GroupOn advertising tickets for the Ringling Bros. Circus. For Timmy's birthday, our plans had been for my spouse, Justin, Timmy, and our neighbors/employee's kids to attend the circus. I would not be going due to recovering from surgery. Every year in January I get the notice about tickets for the circus, and every year I remember how they did not get to go.
Gordy having a nice MGD with Brian at our church picnic
Later I might join my friend, Terri, and some of her family as they gather at Miller's Ale House to drink a MGD as a toast to her daddy. Gordy was a frequent guest at the Ale House and everyone knew his beer of choice. It was served at his funeral meal as well. Cheers, Gordy!
