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No longer on the river and, again, an empty nester. Back to living on Fleming Island and making some more friends!

Thursday, November 19, 2015

Words mean something...

...or they mean nothing. Sometimes they mean nothing and that's it. An example of such which comes to mind is my grandma, Lily. My mom was a gifted sewer, able to make dresses for her mother which were suited to my grandma's needs. The fabric was polyester, needed no pressing, was heavy enough to keep Lily warm. Mom made the dresses so they closed in the front for ease of getting on and off. The buttons were covered with the same fabric as the dress which was a very classy look, with a self belt. Nothing plain about these dresses but also nothing over-the-top either. (Ha ha, little joke there about how the dress went on and off...)

At the old folks home where Lily lived (and I worked) there were nurses or aids, one per floor in those days, and the one on 4th floor was Lorraine. Every time Lily got a new dress, she'd get compliments on it. Lorraine would say, "Oh, Lily, you look spiffy today..." and that would be the end of it. After many years, one day my grandma asked me, "Now, what does that mean--spiffy?" What!? She almost took it as though it was NOT a compliment. How did this happen? At what point did this favorable remark become tainted? What prevents people from accepting a compliment?  Of course, I explained that spiffy today is the same that it was for the previous how ever many years---that she looked nice in her dress. Nothing more and nothing less. Just take it, and run!

The reason I was thinking of this was because I had a conversation with my mom the other day about my pending visit. Our plans for ThanksLiving Day were being discussed and I mentioned getting some stuff to munch on for watching football. She questioned that idea (really, Mom??), thinking that 'we' won't be hungry after our big lunch. Some of us are dining at church for lunch that day, and I am sure it will be a veritable feast. However, when watching football, it is customary to enjoy munchies. This is so nothing new. I took Mom's bait and said, "I don't have to be hungry to eat..." and she sounded almost stunned to hear this. Now, I know that I have heard her make that same remark to me at some point in her life, but now it's foolishness. Maybe I will look spiffy doing it!

Today I had a very nice lunch with my friend, Terri T., at the former Spaghetti House, which is near her work. Justin and I used to have dinner there with Twila and her grandson, Mark, when the boys were in confirmation class together. We'd meet after school but before class and have sumptuous plates of Italian food. The same was true today at Joey Mozzarella, its new name. My calzone was as big as my head, as my friend, Julia, would say. I ate about half of half of it!

Over lunch I shared some stuff with Terri that I'd been writing about or pondering including how sometimes we need to tippy-toe around people, weighing and measuring even the most innocuous remarks. You just never know what will set someone off or cause wounded feelings. You think you know how far you can go, and then miss the mark. Or, what you said last week and was fine is not so fine this week. What changes? Is it tone? Lack of face-to-face exchanges, using electronics too much and missing needed inflection? Or, are emotions simply running high with the onset of the holiday season? Hmmmm.....

Today in Bible study we talked about how pastors and elders are to conduct themselves in this world and their congregations. We also discussed how the members can aid and encourage their pastor to be an effective shepherd to his flock. Our course of study is I Timothy at present and in this book, St. Paul is offering guidance and encouragement to his young fellow pastor, Timothy. Timeless advice offered in these chapters, for pastors, elders, and our own daily living, devoting ourselves to living Godly and God-pleasing lives!