Monday's Bible study of helping people (and ourselves) deal with death and dying has wrapped up. I enjoyed this, my type of topic, and would probably have gotten more from it had been not so start/stop. Early on in the study, an assignment was to write what we would say to 'Eunice' at this certain point in her life, as she was facing her illness. We were invited, then, to share what we wrote. The following Sunday, dear Fran came up to me saying she liked so much what I wrote in class that if that ever happened to her, she wanted me to read this to her at the bedside. This was so touching to me and I assured her I would be there if she needed me.
At the end of the class, we sat around talking a little bit. I had made a short list of things to bring up regarding grief and loss. In discussing the use of cremation increasing in popularity, I mentioned how Pastor H. laments the replacement of a 'good, Lutheran funeral' with memorial services at the funeral home or even less when a loved one dies. I shared how my brother-in-law, Harvey, remarked, upon getting home from Timmy's visitation, how Pastor Prange had made him feel almost 'happy' with his closing devotion done there. Harvey had never experienced this before. The receiving line for the visitation was extremely long, and we went about an hour and a half over the scheduled time. Donna reminded that the cortege to the cemetery was just as long!
Kristi mentioned her favorite memory of Timmy is him wearing a birthday hat to church. She said she smiles every time she thinks of it. This would have been after my birthday, just a few weeks before he died. Oh, how I enjoy these stories!
Another story I told was how Cindy, his former Sunday school teacher and preschool teacher, would call me and say, "I need a pity party". We would go to the cemetery with a picnic lunch and just do what friends do---eat, laugh, and cry. The reason I brought this up was to point out how the tears are often for ourselves, not for the one enjoying the bliss of heaven. That is where the "loss" comes in with dealing with grief and loss. Tears are not to be avoided, they are as natural a response, built into us by the Creator, as is laughter.
Before the class wrapped up Judy's phone went off. The A/C man was on the way to her house and she had to go meet him. A group of us, 7 ladies, went to eat at Longhorn for lunch. The chicken tenders were wonderful and Betty so nicely ate my salad as her meal. We have a good arrangement between us, my designated salad eater! It felt so good to get outside again to warm up...this place is always cold, and yet, we keep going back!
Soon our class will be over for the summer and we won't have these opportunities to hang out together on Mondays, unless we make it happen. The next study we are beginning is about The Heart of Jesus, from the book of Luke, looking at the women who were His followers. A good way to wrap up before summer comes...
