Easter is a happy, crying day for me, and for many people that I know. Our Sunrise Worship featured "I Know That My Redeemer Lives", of course, a necessary component of Easter celebration. At just the right moment, I found myself behind the church door, listening to the congregation singing outside about our Savior's victory. I just wasn't ready to read through it while they sang, so stepped away. It seemed Terri was having a tough time with it as well, as she asked how I got away and left her sitting there to cry by herself. This hymn was sung at both our loved ones' funeral services, which is why it's so special to us. The reason that hymn is chosen for funerals is that the message is so perfect, spelling out our faith in the Lord and our hope for eternity. I go out on a limb to say that I'll probably never be able to sing that hymn again, but the message stays as powerful as ever--I Know That My Redeemer Lives!!!
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The Easter breakfast was wonderful and delicious, congrats to the men and ladies who did all the work! My dear friend, Cindy, who was one of Timmy's teachers at Precious Lambs Preschool, came into breakfast wearing a vibrant yellow outfit and announced to me, "I am wearing Timmy's yellow for Easter!" One time she wore a yellow and black outfit to church and he told her he liked her "lellow" dress, so now when she wears yellow, especially at Easter, well...............
We just wrapped our arms around each other, rocked and cried together. Not only sad tears, but happy ones as well, remembering the good times, good memories. That hug meant everything to me, everything.
Cindy holding her granddaughter, Shiloh. Two lovely ladies! *
Another task I did this morning was serve as Greeter on this high visitor/guest day. I handed out 4 of our goodie bags to visitors. The Festival Service was absolutely lovely, a good house. The lilies were fragrant and added much to the celebratory feeling of our service. AND, the choir, in our robes, sang "Jerusalem, the Golden", accompanied by Suzanne on her viola and Robbie on the organ. For all the weeping earlier and during, somehow I managed to get through this fabulous anthem without weeping! No blue tears on my white choir stole...
*Something special was added to our Holy Week worship, having a Resurrection Tree as an outward symbol of Jesus' Passion. One of our members ingeniously converted our CHRISTmas tree into a cross. On Palm Sunday it wore palm branches, Maundy Thursday-a purple drape, black drape on Good Friday, and today---flowers! People were encouraged to bring flowers to stick in rubber bands on the trunk and cross pieces and it looked so pretty. Several people took family pictures with the cross as the backdrop or centerpiece.
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My fabulous day continued after worship when I took two Easter lilies over to Timmy's gravesite. As I was sweeping the marker and such, I looked up and spotted Joe visiting his wife's gravesite. I didn't stick around to chat with him, he needed his time alone, and my boy was waiting for me at home! Justin was stopping by on his way from church, going to his father's house. I gave him the Easter basket for which he was most appreciative. He also picked up some stuff to take along including a chocolate cross for Maya, which, by the way, stayed the proper shape!! Justin also nicely carried my soda cases upstairs for me and the garbage bags downstairs. I should be set with soda now until it's time for me to go up north.
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After he left to have his Feast, I got busy at my desk working on the newsletter and the "Keeping the Faith" single-page letter I send to those away from the congregation. I won't have to "worry" about the newsletter now while I'm away, as I got it pretty well started. I'll just have to fill in a few blanks when I get back. As I was working, my doorbell rang. Hmmm, who could that be? Here, on my doorstep, stood Olivia with an Easter gift and card for me. Her mom, Sandy, was still working her way up the stairs. They didn't want to come in as they were leaving for TN and just stopped in to wish me a Happy Easter on their way out. Wow, it just can't get any better...
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But, it could!!! My Feast was at the home of my dear friend, Dee. She is so kind to include me in the family celebration, the second time we've been asked to come and share with them. Her husband makes a mean lamb, and we had mashed potatoes and green beans, two of my favorites! Dee served bread pudding for dessert, with rum sauce, again another favorite. Justin would have loved it, would have loved being there with another of our extended families in Orange Park! Easter joy abounding!
3 comments:
He Is Risen! that is our Easter greeting at First German. The crying got started at Sunrise service, I was holding my own against the tears during the singing of I Know that My Redeemer Lives, when I looked up and saw Pastor Hahm wiping tears, well that was the end of me. He said he was ok until he saw Kevin Buch and Kathy Lahaie crying. That song was especially meaningful for me this year with the passing of my dear mother. We had a very low key day but it was ok. Linda
I also get teary eyed during I know That My Redeemer Lives. I always have. I remember we always sang this everytime we sang for a funeral at FG. I think that is why I can sing most of it without the hymnal. We also had the pleasure of hearing all the musical talent of MLHS on wed. night. Such gifted singers and musicians. Wish you could have seen my Dan. He didn;t want to go but he stood so straight and tall on the risers. Which by the way yours truly helped set up. Got to go to work. Week before the parlor opens so I need to start cleaning it. Can't wait to see you! I will work on chnaging that weather report too.
From Cindy:
I can still feel the hug from the " First" Easter (after Timmy died) when you walked into the kitchen. I was feeling sad as I worked, knowing what hymns were coming up, knowing you were going through so much pain. Kim... your face when you walked into the kitchen, your eyes wide, like a deer in the head lights. And we just rocked and cried. No words needed to be spoken, just hugs and breaking hearts. I wore Timmy's dress that Easter too, but I got slop and schmutz on it. I know now I did it on purpose. I came home and tried to clean it but the black ran on the yellow and I threw it out. I was torn and angry at the time. And after that I gave up wearing yellow on Easter...but never forgot Timmy at Easter or any other day.
Then, last year I was looking through a catalogue, and saw the "lello" suit and I just grinned and thought of Timmy, so I ordered it. But I packed on a few pounds and couldn't wear it. On a whim I tried it on and it fit! I had to tighten up all the buttons and shorten the sleeves, which I did last night. Pressed it and I was ready for Easter. But wouldn't you know Timmy got involved. As I climbed into the car with Dave, the button on the skirt popped off. Kim, my behind was in the car, one leg needed to be put in and the button flew off and landed UNDER THE CAR! So in the house I ran to get a safety pin, because I'm wearing this outfit! Bottom line is it's nice to be back to Timmy's yellow again.
Watching the Easter egg hunt, reminded me of our first Easter at church and I can still remember you walking with Timmy and his special Easter bag. I just want you to know as I stood there and watched CJ and all the little ones every year, I still see Timmy, and I still miss him. Curls and freckles and cheeks.
I read your blog, and have to reply about I Know My Redeemer Lives. I couldn't sing it for many years either.
How many hymns did we glance across the pews at each other, chins quivering? On any given Sunday, a hymn would be sung and one or both of my boys would lean in and say, " That's a Timmy hymn". For me , I've found myself singing the hymn with more peace in my heart, because I know, somewhere, someday, my heart is going to be breaking again and that hymn reminds me "Our Redeemer Lives" and I don't have to carry the weight, He will do it for me. Will I succeed at remembering this? Not in a heart beat, but I know I have friends that will kick me in the tushy and remind me.
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