It's heck to get old.......

...let me tell ya'.....

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Recently I'd noticed a fluttering sensation in my eyes, mostly the left, which feels like its pulsing or moving or something. Mostly it's annoying but I'm also certain that people in cars alongside me can see it. This is not reasonable, of course, but it seems as though they might. It was time to "see" the eye doctor.

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I'd not had an eye exam since my final "tweaking" on my right eye back in 2001, so it was time I did. The assistant performed all the exams she could, me trying to read tiny writing on the wall while holding a spoon over one eye. I also had my head examined by a machine which looks inside my head (actually inside my eye ball) to see if there's anything amiss. I was clean! Finally, I was put in the actual exam chair to await the doctor.

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"Ed", for whom we'd built a home many years ago, is a nice man, who greets me with a great big hug when he sees me. He frequents the same frame shop I do---ahem, ahem....so I see his wife, Janet, and he with some regularity. One time he gave me a stern scolding for not wearing sunglasses, saying even though I've had Lasik, I should still wear them. Really, it's been such a relief to not have to wear glasses at all. On a cruise in 2000, I bought a great pair of sunglasses in the Amsterdam airport, gold glitter. I either lost or broke them, never did find a pair that compared!

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Well, those days of glory are over, my friends....my once 20/20 vision has deteriorated wwaayy down to 20/25 and 20/50. Oh, like that's so bad...really? One eye is more "correct" than the other due to the monovision correction with the Lasik, intended to stave off needing reading glasses sooner--so far, so good) What I DO require, however, is AccuVision eyewear (not called glasses anymore, did you notice?) to wear when I am driving at night. They can be worn any time I need to see something at a distance but they are intended for night driving. Just what I need as designated driver of the church ladies!

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Talk about expensive! I know that its been many years since I've had an eye exam and purchased glasses---excuse me--eyewear, but holy cow! The frames, red, of course, were certainly not the most expensive ones, although the nice lady tried to direct me toward the designer ones by Armani. Please! I am using them at night, who gives a hoot if they are designer or what? When I was in 2nd grade and got my first glasses, replacement bows cost $14.00 a piece. I know this because my parents had to make that purchase on more than one occasion in my grade school days. Now, $14.00 buys nothin', Jerry, nothin'!!!

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So, in about a week or so, I'm back to sporting glasses, after all these years glasses-free. You know, it never occurred to me to ask for contacts but I'll bet this AccuVision product line doesn't come in contact lenses. I just knew it would come to this eventually--I could stave off aging only so long before it caught up with me. At least I got a few compliments out of it: "you have beautiful eyeballs", "I like your hair", and "you have such nice skin". That's what happens when you're eye to eye with people, these things are noticed.

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On the lighter side, Ed had to use this machine with the multiple lenses in it, and told me to rest my chin on the white plastic piece and my forehead against the top. There's one not-so-small problem----there's no way I can get myself close enough to this machine to rest my chin. I can rest all sorts of things, but not the chin---at least, not without expending some effort. I was hoping to pull that machine close enough without him having to push, pull, or manipulate something.....and I did it! I grabbed hold of sides of it and held on for dear life. Hurry, hurry, I'm losing my grip.......Ed certainly couldn't say too much as his wife looks similar to me!

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The main reason I went to the eye doctor in the first place was the fluttering. Ed asked me if I had any cramps or such in my legs (good thing he didn't ask me if I had swelling in my legs!!!) (I love that joke!) and when I told him I didn't, he said not to worry about it, not a problem. I explained about other drivers staring at me--not really--and he said some folks who drink a lot of coffee have the fluttering of the eyelids.....oh, I see, again with the caffeine business! I like the idea of not worrying about it, my kinda doctor!

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On another note: Once I had a dentist named Buddy who had administered nitrous oxide to me during a treatment. As they were trying to bring me back down afterward, he had the audacity to ask me, "Do your legs feel heavy?"......................................................