I just remembered something (warning...)

When I was at the pool today, for some reason or another, a picture flashed into my mind. An old memory from the days not long after Timmy died. My mom had been with us since just after Christmas, actually arriving in town the wee hours of my birthday morning. I had to drive downtown to the bus depot to pick up Lynn and Mom because I was certainly NOT going to allow them to sit there until a 'decent' hour----not in the Jacksonville bus depot! Lynn was coming along partially for a visit and partially to help Mom out with the kids while I was having my surgery on the 11th of January. Lynn left on the Friday after my surgery, with Roger having taken her to the Orange Park bus depot. Less than a week later and she was back for Timmy's funeral.

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All the while after the funeral, I should say, the first full month after the funeral, my neighbors in The Preserve made a meal for us every other day, as a show of support for us. All we had to do was set the table and wait to see what was coming for dinner, and wonder if we had room in the freezer for yet more ice cream. We could not eat some of our meals fast enough, especially the ice cream, believe it or not.

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While I cannot remember the date Mom flew back home to WI, it was some time after Timmy died. The sad reminder that flashed through my brain was of the night Mom left, when I was setting the table, I accidentally set four places. It then hit me like a ton of bricks that from now on, we would only need to set for three of us at the table. Upsetting not because Mom was gone, that had not sunk in yet, but because Timmy was gone and an empty space was at the table. Like a ton of bricks....What made me think of that today when I was at the pool? I have no idea but fortunately I was mostly by myself and could cry without drawing an audience. Maybe it was because I had an earworm of the hymn "Jesus, Thy Blood and Righteousness" rattling round in my brain and out that memory popped.

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This type of thing happened once more to my knowledge, sometime later when Harv and Barb had come down for a visit. We were enjoying a meal cooked on the grille and I gave Barb the plastic pink flamingo patio dishes to set the outdoor table. In a few moments she came in with an extra setting----seems I had once more counted Timmy in our number. He was enjoying a feast much better than what we were having, but those tons of bricks on earth are a little hard to take sometimes.....