My niece wrote this 4 years ago....

Monday, January 19, 2009

Where were you...

Just a warning to all of you...this is a tear jerker.

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Where were you eight years ago today?

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"Why eight years ago," you ask? It's not an easy number to remember such as 5, 10, or even 20 years. How would you remember what went on or where you were on such an odd year? Well, for me eight years ago today was a very sad emotional day. Never in my life did I think I'd feel so many different emotions.

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Eight years ago today my entire family and I were in Florida to say good-bye to a very dear loved one. It was eight years ago today that we laid to rest the one person who we didn't think would pass at such an early age. We were all at the funeral of my five-year old cousin, Timothy Charles Day. What made the whole event even more trying was that today would have been his birthday. We buried a five year old little boy. I have a five year old, and I can't even imagine what it's like. Every year it's the same sad feeling I get when I think of how awful it was the night I received the horrible call. "We lost Timmy tonight." Yes, we may have lost Timmy, but on the happy side of things, look what heaven gained! The bright eyed smiley little boy with the lowest voice I ever heard from a little fella.*

I can remember walking into the house the night we arrived in Florida. It was very hard for me to look out at the pool. I collapsed into Roger's arms and just sobbed. Then Kim said something to me that I will never forget. "Timmy's sitting on Jesus' lap, probably pulling on His beard." Yeah, he's sitting on Jesus' lap. What a perfect vision. Kim always knows just the right thing to say at just the right time. The Lord may have taken Timmy from her, but He blessed her with the gift to comfort others in times of sorrow. I feel that to be a bitter sweet blessing.

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A year or so later, when Vickie and I took our girl's vacation, we stopped to visit Timmy's resting place. Vickie's mother had just passed away a few weeks prior to our trip. All of us were standing by Timmy's grave crying for different people. Kim knew just what to say then too. "Mom" passed away while sitting at the dining room table getting ready to eat a meatloaf sandwich. Kim put her arm around Vickie and said, "Your mom prayed, "Come, Lord Jesus" and this time he came." Oh how true. Vickie told me later that night, "I never thought of it that way. That makes me feel better."

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Kim wrote in her blog today about people saying, "Get over it." or "You need to move on." What kind of words are these??? To me, they are a slap in the face. You never fully get over losing a loved one. They are always in your heart and memories. I remember the Friday before Timmy passed, I talked with him on the phone, and he sang to me. He sang "Who Let the Dogs Out". I used to think it was a stupid song. Now it's a treasure I'll never (get over) or forget. There are just things that you can't move on from. Yeah, it's been a whole eight years, but it's going to take forever and back to GET OVER IT. Never once has anyone said that to me, instead, only words of encouragement.

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I've had a few downer days this last week, and there are several quotes I'd like to share from people who tried to comfort me. Each quote shows that yeah, it's bitter sweet that we lost a loved one, but look where he is now...PARADISE!

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"It comforts me to know that the last 8 years have been much better for Timmy than it has for us. It's sad we didn't get to see him grow up but we will see him again. I wonder if he will be the same age or if you age in heaven?"

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"Chin up, he's in heaven smiling down. We should all be so lucky."

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Some day we will be so lucky! I'm so looking forward to being up there and seeing what it looks like sitting on Jesus' lap. Of course, I have the manners to not tug on His beard!

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Because Timmy was called home at such an early age, Kim has had the opportunity to "counsel" other families who have lost children. The Lord has blessed her with the gift to console. She went through the pain and sorrow of losing a child, but she can feel the joy of helping others to overcome their sadness in times of grief. What a blessing that is for all those she consoles. And my family and I are blessed that we have such a strong caring individual who shares her story to help others.

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We don't keep stories of Timmy to ourselves in the Ellison household. We talk about our cousin quite a bit. We want our boys to know what kind of a loving and happy child Timmy was. Gabe asks questions about him once in awhile. "Is Timmy the boy by Jesus?" "Timmy is in heaven with Jesus, right mom?" I only wish they could have met the boisterous little guy we were able to love and adore for five years. I also have the poppyseed donut in the face to remember him by! For those of you who were there you know the laugh we had.

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Good night to you all and God bless you!