It's all about together

Several years ago at the visitation for my father-in-law's passing, I was seated with my sister-in-law's parents, who were dear to me. Together we watched people come and go to view the coffin and greet the mourners. At one point Clara said to me, "I suppose youse won't get together anymore now that Arno is gone..." That stunned me because it never occurred to me that Arno was the reason any of us did get together. Immediately I assured her that we would continue to get together, but it turned out, she was right!

It was not deliberate, certainly, it just happened. The kids all have their own families to focus on and some of us are not living in WI any longer. Not living there certainly limits the family time. One occasion I was in WI after Arno died, and it was my niece's graduation from high school. My sis-in-law, Nancy, invited me plus my in-laws, H & B, to come to their house the day before for dinner. Nice! H & B picked me up and off we went. Their son, Kevin, came along, too, so we had a nice group around the table. On the ride back, H remarked to me that this was most people from the family he'd been with since his dad's funeral. Wow! So, Nancy, me, and her two kids made for a sizable family gathering (in more ways than one!). Clara's prediction had come true!

This comes to mind as I ready myself for a trip to WI later this week. I am taking with me good wishes from my church family to give to Mom and my family, and to Linda. Twice a year, at least, I make the excursion north and have a blast when I am up there. "Church 'n perch" is how I refer to my time spent in Manty. Already a few of the days are taken care of with places to be and people to see, and I've not even begun packing!! When I talk to my neighbors and friends about my pending trip some will ask, "Again?". I haven't been to WI since May but I guess for some it seems more recent. My reminder to them is that I still have my mother and then they nod, knowingly. What happens when I don't have her anymore? Will I still make the trip north a couple times a year?

Like I said to Clara, "Of course I will!" but will I? At this moment the answer is yes, because I will also still have my sisters and, of course, Linda. But, my family doesn't often get together for gatherings unless there is an occasion, like a holiday, for us to do so. Our ThanksLiving celebration is going to be such an occasion on Friday when my sister can be off work and my other sister will travel across the state to join the fun. Mom says it's all too much work which is probably true at age 90. Nothing is expected of her except to reserve the room for us. This will be the 2nd time this year we are all in one room, minus my sister, Carol, as we celebrated Mom's birthday in early January. This time we can actually sit around and talk with each other.

A month or so ago I talked on the phone with my sister, Lori, a rare event. She doesn't call often, I am the talker in my family. They know to hang onto their arms when I am around 'cause I can talk them right off! Lori called about coming here for my birthday party, so far the only one willing and able to make the trip. I am happy as can be that a family representative will be here to mark my 60th birthday with Justin and me. Lori was blessed to have a July birthday and had a great family representation for her 60th, in WI. Being away from WI and having a 'Christmas' birthday makes it difficult for folks. Justin was more concerned about this than was I since we'll have plenty of folks to invite to my party. My sister and her family will be the icing on the cake. 

As Lori and I talked she lamented that our family doesn't get together more than it does (I am not alone in this) and remembers all the time we used to spend with our cousins, etc. I reminded her that when I am in Manty, I often try to get the cousins together and she acknowledged that. But it only happens when I am there to facilitate it. My cousins live in the same town as my mom and a couple of my sisters, but they don't deliberately get together. 

Sometimes I wonder if I lived there yet, would I make those arrangements to see my cousins? Would I see the value in spending family time? Or has that occurred to Lori and me because we no longer live in our home town? We must take our proximity to each other for granted, being only blocks away instead of a state, or many states, away. My one cousin lives one street over from my sister, Lynn, having the same house number. But rarely are plans made and meetings are accidental. 

When my auntie was alive, I would make sure to get to see her and perhaps a cousin or two would be there, too. That would be so nice, seeing each other again, and spending the time together. Now, Auntie is gone, and the cousins go on with their lives. I will make an effort to gather folks when I am 'home' for these two weeks. Will have to go up against deer hunting season and such, but still, I can make the phone calls. It's time!