Can't versus won't

A few days ago I was thinking of something my friend, Kathy, told me about visiting old folks' homes. She said she could not go along Christmas caroling because she "can't go to nursing homes". Her mother-in-law actually lived in such a place and apparently Kathy never went to see her. Perhaps her husband brought his mom to their house for visits since she was quite able-bodied in those days. Anyway, somehow Kathy would spend time with her mother-in-law but not in the home. In all honesty, it wasn't that Kathy could not go into the home to visit her, she wouldn't do it. As you know, there really is no reason to think you cannot go into an old folks' home, you simply don't want to!

How much in our lives do we claim we cannot do when what we really mean is that we don't want to do it? I think of myself with certain foods which I claim I do not like but have never tried. What is up with that? Justin recently coaxed me into trying a cheesy seafood dip one night at dinner, thinking I would like it. Out of character, I did give it a taste and wow!, I loved it. Now I get some every time I am at Publix (has to be Publix brand) and enjoy it on a cracker or five as my afternoon snack. How long have I gone without this delight in my life, simply because I don't like fish???  The seafood in the dip is actually the 'fake' crab meat which is tolerable, not fishy at all. I really needed one more food in my life, right?

Filling my head...

...with nothing but topics about which to write! So many things have been buzzing in my brain lately and I guess it's best to have this cooling off period before I hit the keyboard with them. My CO boys have come and gone, no girls this year. Maddie was expected to return but, sadly, her dad suffered a stroke and she needed to stay close to home. 

All three boys who did make the trip, Ryan for his third time, stayed in one room for sleeping. The rest of the time they were awake and at home, two of them spent in the living room, with phones firmly in hand. There was little interest in doing much else with the down time than movie watching or game playing. One day when nothing else was planned before VBS, I got them out to the pool with me but Ryan stayed only an hour or so. The younger two guys seemed to really enjoy their pool time which made me quite happy. When they were less enthusiastic about doing something other than their devices, it made me sad. A few times they did watch movies together, borrowed from Michael, so perhaps they communicated with each other then. 

Vacation Bible School is another subject and that also makes me sad. I am reluctant to say much about it so as not to hurt feelings. As I used to tell Martie about my housekeeper: "If I want it perfect, I'll have to do it myself!" Since I DO NOT want to be in charge, I have to be still. It seemed almost like in spite of ourselves, VBS was pulled off, and the CO kids did a good job with their assigned duties. For the first two days I handled the registration table and was sure to take pictures of each of the forms so we can use the garnered info for future contacts. Last year's forms disappeared which limited my ability to reach out to folks. I had made up my own promotional flyer to mail out since nothing was posted at church or in the preschool. Total number of students all week was fewer than 20 kids, the vast majority from the community. I asked the parents how they heard about us and most said from seeing the banners, which, with prompting, were put up about two weeks out. Who knows how many we missed!?

When I was in WI last month, I told Lynn that the housekeeper was scheduled for right after the CO kids left and before Lynn and the boys arrived. She asked me not to do that, since her grandsons are not tidy and it would be a waste of time. I did cancel Dawn and rebooked for after all the company is gone. When I went to check out the guest room now that the CO kids had left, it felt like I was walking on a beach! When they come home from St. Augustine, I suggested they take a quick dip in the pool before going to their room but only one took me up on it. The youngest, Zach, came out of the bedroom with his clothes changed within minutes of getting back. No shower or anything. Surely sand was where he didn't want it but, okay...Justin swept the floor in the hallway and bedroom to get the sand up and I poured what was in wastebasket into a trash bag to take outside. It was everywhere! 

On the day they were leaving, late afternoon, I asked them to please bring me their sheets, pillow cases, and towels. Colton brought out his small roll of bedding and only the towel I gave him for the beach. I asked if he didn't have any bath towels and he looked at me, quizzically, "Bath towels?" I said, "Yes, the towels used when you showered and stuff." He said, "Oh, I just used the beach towel..." Wow! More than once I had offered to do their wash (Ryan did his own, twice) but both younger fellows refused. I'd have been glad to launder his towel, used for 11 days! 

As I said to both Terri and Justin, I guess it's been a long time since I was a mom to a teen-aged boy!  My skills are rusty and my good humor taxed. I was more incredulous than anything, thinking I must be a poor hostess for allowing one towel per guest for whole visit. But he was fine with it, apparently. When I checked the room, I found one of the beds still wearing its fitted sheet. Why bring me one but not the other? Ha, it was sort of funny as I think back to it, guessing I should have said, "Bring me two sheets, two pillow cases each, plus all the used towels from the room." One must be very specific and not use foreign words like 'bath towel'!!