Self-examination

Some time ago my sister, Lori, gave our mother a journal-type of book for her to complete, to fill in the blanks. The book asked questions or had statements to which Mom would add her rememberance about her childhood, growing up, being an adult, and so on. Upon Mom completing the journal, Lori took the book back for safe keeping for Grandma K's family to have this record. Flash forward to the lockdown and the not being able to get into the Home to visit Mom. Phone calls were the only connection and Mom has no phone any longer because she cannot see to use one. 

Shady Lane Home has been helpful maintaining contact with the families of those who have no other way to contact their families or friends. Each week we "girls' get to talk with Mumsy, as I call her, some of us via FaceTime visits or using the phone for those who are not Apple users. Lori admitted she was sometimes stymied with what to talk about and then had the brainstorm to pull out that long ago completed journal. She started asking Mom questions from the journal and Mom expounds upon what she experienced or witnessed. Mom told her she likes to do that instead of talking about the news and stuff like that. Lynn has been the one to update Mom on the obituaries, keeping her up-to-date of those from church or the community who have died. That is much appreciated.

FaceTime screenshot of Mumsy and me (March 2021) where she has her eyes open. They had to get her up from a nap for the visit.

What Jill and Kerry discusss with her I do not know, but as for myself, I can talk about anything. I can talk the bark off a tree! Once in a while I will bring up something from our shared past, like where we would go fabric shopping when she wintered with us here in FL.  Or how she took care of Justin when he was little, how funny he was, and what she did at his whim. He had quite the imagination as a little guy, and Mom would sometimes drive an imaginary sleigh while pushing his stroller or trying to control a wild pig he had named Agnes, invisible to everyone except him and Grandma! Those are fun conversations as well. The FaceTime calls allow me to be nose to nose with my mumsy, closer than if I was in the same room with her! Some of the Activity Aids are pretty liberal with the amount of time we have for our visits. Others are most stringent about the time alloted so we get cut short, or right on time, with our visits. I will simply take what I can get!

I tell you all this to explain the book Justin gave me for Christmas titled "300 Questions to Ask Your Parents" Before It's Too Late. He said he knew I don't have problems coming up with things to talk about with Mom but thought this would be interesting for me to prompt her memories like Lori is doing. I love it! 

But, I love it more for myself right now than for asking my mom. I am thinking I should fill it out to share with him when I am 95 and in the Home (may that never happen!!).  I am also thinking of other uses for some of the questions in the book, as he described them as being "conversation starters". He follows a conversation starter site online and uses with his friends just to make it interesting. Neither of us struggle for words, usually, at least conversation-wise, but still the prompts in the book are interesting. Other of the questions or fill-in-the-blanks are so thought provoking that they hurt. We can simply skip over those! The answers are not for a grade so can be completed, or only read and never shared, but allow for some contempation and reflection. I love it!