The Party's Over!

May I present the beautiful taco ring! Rachel brought the garnishments to go with it but most just dived in without the enhancements. Truly a wonderful treat! Wish I could make one that pretty!

Lonnie and Renee are quite entertaining as they shared stories about their lives in the Navy. Emily is listening intently, as Paul joins in with his stories (he is out of the frame to the right)

Brian (nearly out of frame), Kathy B., Rick and Jen, are listening to Lonnie tell another funny story!

The room is empty but ready for the guests to arrive. The lights were dim which makes for the darker picture. Justin carried the chairs into the family room for me and I wonder if he will come back to put them in the dining room....I guess if I asked him to, he would!

Brian took a picture of me at the table, but the flash jumped up and caught the rim of his hat. Quite amusing! In the front we have assorted cheesecakes on my lovely cake plate, hot dog wraps on heated tray (wedding present!), taco ring with condiments, meatballs in the mushroom dish (wedding present!), and nacho chips with dip. The red tapers are in my mom's candle holders from many many years ago. Thanks, Mom! The taco ring was made by my friend, Rachel, from Victory, and she delivered it to my house in time to bake and serve. Her son and she took the tour quickly as she wanted to be gone before anyone arrived. It was delicious and moreso because she so graciously made it for me!

The table was loaded with food incrementally, keeping the hottest foods to the last so it would be good for serving. The mushroom dish has a candle underneath to keep the meatballs hot, and you can see the flame in the photo!

This photo was taken on the morning of what would have been Timmy's 14th birthday. Truly the day the Lord has made! As Carter says in "The Bucket List" when viewing the Northern Lights from the private jet: 'truly one of God's good ones!' Amen, Carter!

Before the party

It is time to rest already after a busy, by my standards, morning of preparations. Justin popped in momentarily to bring up some more stuff from my car and to take a light bulb to the garbage for me. It is a tube fluorescent bulb, about three feet long so it is not the simplest trash I have to get rid of. Hopefully he put the tube alongside the trash bin and not inside where someone might toss their bags on top of it and have a huge mess. Justin is on his way to his father's house to finish taking down the outdoor holiday lights, including lifting a 75# flag pole which is draped in lights. Neither of those two have decent backs and I jokingly asked if I should come along to help. We would likely end up in the river and the pole would remain standing. I should have mentioned the pole is on the dock....

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Thus far today I have made a mess, mostly from trying to make my ham salad but once I got the machine put together properly after several tries, I have a bowl full of Honey Baked Ham salad! Yummy! Too bad Janet won't be here to enjoy any this time. Another time I served it for a gathering and she doubted that I could make such a delicious treat! It might be expensive to buy up front, but it is so "no muss-no fuss" delicious and the meals just keep coming after the feast is past. My freezer holds three containers of the bean soup made from the bone and remnants, and now the ham salad for tonight. A bit more dusting was done, just some finishing touches, and serving dishes gathered for the hot foods. My friend, Rachel, from Victory, has offered to make me a Pampered Chef taco ring for tonight. What a sweetheart!

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Yesterday when Justin came, he walked into the dining room and asked, alarmed, "What kind of party are you having??!!??", as he held the grass hula skirt in his hands. He saw the cactus cut-out and hula skirt and John Deere paper plates----yeah, you know those church folks do like their parties!!! I explained both were church-related but two separate events. Martie is coming Wednesday to help me assemble the hula skirt thing which will help to gauge the donations to our lawn mower fund. Nothing to do with the party at all, just left out on the table where I dropped it when getting home. What a laugh we had over it, though!

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I had another belly laugh with David, my bro-in-law in WI, this morning. Wanting to talk with my sister as I took my break, I called their house. He was the only one up and it was 10:00 a.m. already. David asked if he should wake her up and I told him not to because I need her fully conscious to discuss my travel plans for March. She will call me when she's had a cup of coffee and can think coherently. What made us laugh though was when he asked who was coming to the party tonight. I told him I invited the Called workers and teachers and those elected to office. And then I said, "I invited the elect, and am dying to see who shows up!!!" A little biblical humor there....hopefully not too sacrilegious. I just crack myself up sometimes, and cracked him up too! Justin came in as I was roaring with laughter and was hanging up with David, and he asked, "Seinfeld??" Of course, what else would make me roar like that??

Taking a break

A break? From what? Well, perhaps the scent of Soft Scrub from my hands will give it away....I began the process of cleaning for the party tomorrow night, and I do this in increments so as not to upset my back. Often I find that cleaning wears on me, so I will allow Justin the privilege of moving the chairs around when he comes to vacuum clean this afternoon. That is sometimes a back-breaker for me as my dining room chairs are quite heavy. Once the floors are cleaned, he can place the chairs in the family room so I can prepare the table for food. Later I will go get some items from the store including wine and soda, and perhaps some beer. Most are wine drinkers these days but I think I must have something for all, as a good hostess. Justin will tote it upstairs for me which saves me the job.

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This a.m. before getting in the shower, I stripped my bed and threw the sheets into the washer. The water seemed reluctant but did not do its usual spitting and sputtering which normally happens if it has been off. Huh. At least it was still coming out, right? I went to take my shower and as I stood under the lame stream, I scrubbed like mad to make sure I got done before the water quit all together. Now what? I did not even get to my hair but that's okay, mostly I wished to remove the soap from my skin. Once out, I called the maintenance guy, Hugh, to report the problem but got his answering machine. This made me hopeful that he was out there addressing the problem. I also called Tracy downstairs, as she is still the president of the BOD but she knew nothing of the situation. By the time we completed our conversation, the water pressure had returned to normal, and I restarted the washer. And I washed my hair in the kitchen sink!

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Outside my door I heard some racket and opened it to find Connie out there sweeping around the plants and such in the courtyard. This pleased me because I want it looking nice when my company arrives. She told me mine were the sole plants that survived the freeze. The only special treatment I gave them was using hot water to water them and not every day. No covers or anything, and mine lived! One pot contains plants from when Timmy died so I really wanted them to make it. Some look a bit weary but are otherwise alive.

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Again, a Jami story: just prior to her surgery, Jami had been training for a marathon, her first one. On the day of the marathon she found herself in the hospital, facing emergency surgery to remove part of her colon. The doctors are not exactly sure what happened there, whether it was from the training or if it just happened on its own. As she recovers now, she did a dramatic change of attitude, last night declaring in no uncertain terms that she was going to run a 'stinking' marathon!!! The 'stinking' is my word, not the one she used. Good for you, Jami, go get 'em!

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The party tomorrow is going to be fewer folks than I invited, as often happens, with Pastor calling this a.m. with his regrets. He had surgery earlier this week to repair a hernia and he is taking longer to feel like his old self than he expected. Sadly, his wife and he won't be able to make it to the party, and in fact, his dad is coming up from south Florida to help with the service on Sunday. What a blessing that is for us all! Having a spare pastor in your back pocket, so to speak. It is good that his dad, a former professor from the seminary, is a phone call away when needed. One can never predict how long recovery will take, as we all heal differently. My guess is he is not planning to run a marathon any time soon but does intend to see his kids' sporting events on Saturday and then turn in for the rest of the day!

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I called Hugh back a bit ago to let him know the water was okay again, and he said they were cleaning up a mess in their condo. It seems one of them dropped a bottle of chocolate wine on the kitchen tile floor and they had sticky wine and broken glass all over. Yes, they will need some water to clean that mess up! Yikes! I have a similar bottle in my fridge that I got from a wine tasting party so I think I will wander down there with my bottle to replace theirs. They are such good neighbors, and I will likely not serve it or drink it myself. Hugh can either drink it or pour it on the floor!

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Here is a PS to my posting: I just came back upstairs from Hugh's and observed there was water in the swimming pool on the far end. It has been empty and under repair since September. I guess with the horrific weather yesterday I just did not notice the refreshed and lovely blue from that end of the property. Another big news event this week was a group of men filling in the treacherous pot holes that made an obstacle course out of our driveway from the street down. We are guessing that is what caused my most recent flat tire, hitting the pot hole. This prompted the jokes from the Geico commercial and really made me laugh. K, bahy!

"....like smoke through a keyhole....."

In the movie, "The Bucket List", the two men facing their pending demises (is that a word???), were discussing the rapid passing of time, going by nearly unnoticed when it seemed there was still plenty of years before them. Now that it seemed more like only months left in their lives, they speculated how quickly that time will pass, and Edward sort of whispers, "...like smoke through a keyhole....". One of my favorite lines from the movie and I like to throw it out when I can in a conversation. Certainly I have used it in this blog but Mom said she does not recall hearing or reading that expression before. So I am using it tonight as I think about how next month we have Ash Wednesday coming up. Already??? We just celebrated Epiphany and now, working on the newsletter, I discover that Ash Wednesday is nearly around the corner. How did that time go by so quickly, ".....like smoke through a keyhole...."?

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My friend, Jami, whom I 'met' through The Bucket List, is home recovering from a rather dramatic surgery and is going stir crazy while at the same time feeling miserable. Movie watching is her past time because the medications do not allow her to read and focus. She asked today for suggestions for movies to watch and I sent her a list of my faves, not including the two we already share, besides "Bucket", we also love "Freedom Writers". In her blog she wrote that she roared her head off watching "The Hangover" and then added in parenthesis, "No, Kim, this movie is not for you!". She is not the first one to tell me that and I could tell from the previews this movie was not for me either. Joanne went and saw it alone one day, and told me it was horribly raunchy and vulgar, but she never laughed so hard in her life. What does that tell you???

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Thursday is usually the day Justin and I start together at Bible study but he sent me a sad text message this a.m. reporting he had to go to work on a house to prepare it for a walk-through. Evidently he had not finished it yesterday so had to go back in today. Rats! We needed him too as we had a skeleton group for class. Last week they set up extra tables and chairs so we could all squeeze in and today only three of us showed up. On the way to class I called Mom, as usual, and while we were chatting a phone call came from Martie. After class I called her back to see what was up. Normally she works on Thursdays but was off today and wanted to meet for lunch. What do you know? It worked out well that Justin was not available because Martie stepped in perfectly to take his place! Cracker Barrel it is!

*

Because I was already up, dressed, and out on the road, I got there first and saved us a seat by the window where I could watch the rain come down and the lightning flash. Yup, a storm was brewing for sure! My lunch consisted of the veggie plate complete with fries, which I ordered for Martie to snack on as she waited for her apple dumpling to come. I had food, she had dessert-----that's what friends do! It was great seeing her again since she has been laid up with a terrible sinus infection and then family coming in from London and a new grand baby being born.....She is coming over Wednesday to help with my project for church and to work on some painting or cards or something. Chris, too, if she is not playing bridge next week. We need an appointment to get together with Chris, she is such a busy bee!

*

Since the storm had intensified while we were in the dining room, Martie, who needed a birthday present for her granddaughter, and I shopped in the general store. It was just pouring down out there, and I thought I heard a customer telling about tornadoes somewhere but did not catch where exactly. We had been under a watch since morning until 4:00 pm but it seems a touch down occurred south of Green Cove and a possible siting at Doctors Inlet. I wonder if Twila had some excitement this afternoon??? Instead of Rush on the radio, the station went to weather reporting, have folks calling in to tell what they were seeing or experiencing on the area roads. Even on the interstate west of Jacksonville there was flooding and a huge mess from sand which moved onto the freeway where construction was going on. Glad I only had a few miles to go to get home, although going the back way was probably not the best idea as there was standing water on the street all along the river. One of the reports that came in made me laugh, because the man reported the wind was so powerful in Penney Farms, that a squirrel blew out of a tree and landed on his windshield. "We got cows!"---from the movie "Twister", only in this case, we have squirrels. Sadly, two construction workers were blown off an overpass by a gust of wind, landing on the road below. Hopefully their injuries will be minor and the squirrel recovers as well!

Here is a picture taken of hail stones which fell this afternoon. Wow, that's going to leave a mark!

Sun bathing in January

First of all, thanks to all who reached out to Justin and me yesterday, and on Timmy's anniversary day, which Justin calls his "death day". That is right, one is his birthday and one his death day, the day he entered eternal bliss!

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Finally the sun has broken through, burning off the fog which concealed Mandarin the first part of the morning. It feels so good roasting my back and shoulders, even making me squint a bit as it comes around my face. My desk is piled with my CHRISTmas and holiday cards, and, yes, there IS a difference. After I record the senders in my computer for the coming season, I will sort them according to their theme, and take the CHRISTmas ones to church for recycling. Booklets using parts of the cards are made at the end of the year for distribution to the shut-in members and when we go caroling. The rest, those that will not work for re-using, will go into the trash. It saddens me because I love my cards so much but some cleaning up must be done before my party on Saturday night!

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Justin will be coming after work Friday to do the cleaning, badly needed since we took down the decorations. Lori had vacuumed on New Year's Eve but it still needed much more attention than she gave the rugs and floors. Those nacho chips are just so messy! Must add that to my shopping list for the party---chips and dips! At this writing only a fourth of those invited have replied to my invitation but today is the day the invitation asked for RSVPs. Until I know how many are coming, I am holding back on my food preparations. Much is already on hand but some will need purchasing, especially the adult beverages. Justin can help me with that tomorrow after Bible study and lunch.

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Justin and I met at the cemetery yesterday and placed a Thomas the Tank Engine balloon at Timmy's site. Some one had already placed a bouquet in the vase so the bouquet I brought was placed in a glass vase which was rolling about in my back seat, waiting to be dropped off at church. The wind wanted to blow it over but I secured it well enough to prevent that, I hope. Justin tied the balloon to the bench, as the lady applied extra length of string for me to make it easier to secure. As we stood there, we speculated what kind of boy Timmy would be today and I recollected that Pete had said, "Some kids will do anything to get out of my confirmation classes!". If I thought piano lessons were tough, I can just imagine getting the homework for confirmation completed!! I do better remembering and thinking of him as 5 and not a hard-to handle teenager! Justin figured Timmy would be interested in Pokemon or some type of game system, something his father would have had to buy for him since the mom in this household is too cheap!

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We enjoyed our lunch at Sweet Tomatoes, reminiscing about Timmy and discussing our usual politics and his TV passion of the moment. Now that "24" has started again, he is caught up in that, plus "American Idol". I know that any time now he will be sending me youtube links to listen to this singer or that artist doing an interpretation of a song he thinks I would like. He tries so hard to draw me into "Idol" but I am not a taker. Leave me with my old TV shows or hulu to entertain me if I need it. Oh, and Cash Cab is back on Discovery Channel which I really really enjoy because it takes place in NYC!

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He had to leave rather abruptly from our lunch, where, by the way, he ate the chocolate muffin with ice cream that his brother loved so much. Justin needed gas before heading back to the southside for his class and he was not sure his backpack was in the car. I gave him a pen to use for the class in case he was lacking his backpack and he would pick up a tablet at the bookstore if he had time. Parking takes the longest at school, longer than the class itself, so he needed to allow extra time for that. Hope he made it on time. I sent him a text message last night after the good news from MA broke and he replied to me but I did not continue the conversation, knowing he was deeply involved in his TV show. He told me the other day that his buddies warned him--No Talking!--during their programs. He was put out that they "shushed" him, which is a "Seinfeld" reference, of course, but he liked to say that about me at the movies! He talks more than I do, coming into that honestly, as the expression goes!

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The other day I mentioned the purple sweater that was bounced in my dryer in order to stop the lint mess. Yesterday, I was using my bathroom sink and thought, "My, this is soooo dirty in here!". When I wiped it out, the dirt was actually purple fuzzies from that same sweater which I wore on Sunday. Yikes! There are still purple tumbleweeds blowing about in my closet and bathroom, which connect. What a shame to have to clean up behind yourself after wearing a garment!

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Before meeting Justin for our time in remembrance of Timmy, Twila called, asking me what I had in mind for the day. Great! I told her about my lunch date with Justin and said I was open after that. The ladies had decided to go to the movies that afternoon, and before hearing what the movie was, I said "YES!" It was better to go do something than sit home and do nothing. Well, they were seeing "The Lovely Bones" which I had heard much about, with my friend, Jami, reading the book. When I told Justin what we were seeing, he asked, "Have you lost your mind??!!??" The movie really did get to me, but not the reasons you would think. Besides it being about a girl supposedly caught between earth and heaven, there was a great deal of soaring and swooping with the camera and images that made me more than a little motion sick. Jean, too, experienced it and I was glad to have taken a Dramanine early on to allow me to stay in the movie. Much of it was watched with my eyes closed, just like Linda watches movies!!!

A repeat of a message from my friend, Suzanne.....

I remember so much about that week in detail! I remember wiping the dining room table off, because it was covered with icing from Caitlyn's first birthday cake, and the phone rang. It was Chris Douglas telling me what had happened, and that you were all at the hospital. I remember him asking me to make calls to other families, asking them to pray for a miracle, and I remember Chris calling me again and telling me Timmy had died, and then having to share this news with the same families again.

I remember sitting in the church with Mark Vance, alone, staring at our stained glass picture of Jesus for hours, and wondering WHY babies die, and what was the purpose, but mostly I remember saying... "You made it Timmy! You get to see Jesus before me! See you when I get there!"

I remember seeing you at the funeral home, wondering how in the world you were functioning, and thinking you had amazing strength! I remember that you had just had surgery, and that you had had your eye surgery just before that as well! I remember sitting with my friends on the left side in the back row of our church, and that it was so full we didn't have enough chairs, and people were standing outside the doors! I remember seeing so many grown men, big burly contruction workers in tears! And I remember the funeral procession to Jax Memory Gardens, and thinking this was probably the longest ever seen on Blanding, and what a traffic jam! I remember standing at the cemetary seeing his little white casket, and thinking how small it seemed, and the flowers from the wreath beside it that went on top of it! I remember sending a card to you as well as one to Justin, and telling Justin I was praying for him, because I hoped that he wouldn't be forgotten in the sorrow, that it wasn't just the parents that lost a son, but he lost his little brother!

Kim, I remember so much about that week! I'm telling you all this, and I hope it doesn't upset you! I tell you this because I love you so much, and that little boy was a bookmark in my life! A bookmark in my faith, and I want you to know Timothy made a difference in my life!

*

...and that, folks, is what makes a Christian friend and helps sustain us through our trials and tribulations and joys. We know Timmy is with the Lord, soaring around the throne and singing "Holy, holy, holy" in his deep voice!

Another repeat of a posting

This will I will more boldly mark this as being a re-run so as to avoid confusion:

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I did not mark this one with "Warning" because I suspect most of the readers are already braced today. What was a clear and bright sun-filled sky has become foggy and slightly overcast. I hope that does not last long. And I also hope Justin is across the bridge already and not in the fog while he is driving.

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Cindy was at church yesterday but after worship when we were hugging, I wanted to say something to her. She said, "Don't say anything!" We just smiled at each other, knowing each others minds and hearts so well, and left it unspoken. Last week she wrote such a lovely comment to a posting, telling about what the first weeks were like in her Sunday school class after Timmy died, how she let the kids ask questions and discuss what happened instead of following the curriculum. I suspect the kids learned a whole lot more those days and weeks than they will ever learn, more than they wanted to learn perhaps when their fellow member, another child, died so suddenly.

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Kathy and I had a conversation yesterday about grief and the rules thereof, and I am quick to say there are no rules, just go with it! Her daughter, now engaged to be married in April, had lost her first fiance to an accident a few years ago. Kathy was telling me how people, many of the them her daughter's friends, would tell Kelly to "get over it", and "move on". This was only months or weeks after he had died and they said "Move on." What exactly were they saying to Kelly? Were they saying those words to benefit Kelly? From my observations, not so much. In fact, people, and in her case, young people, simply are too uncomfortable, unskilled, in dealing with matters such as these. Sorrow and grief and loss truly do interfere with the "life goes on" mentality our culture has, and folks don't want to let their guard down around others, appear weak or emotional. Folks, I tell you again, there is nothing wrong with showing your feelings and expressing your grief, whether in private or in public. Many folks avoid the subject, saying they did not want to "upset" me ( or Kelly), when in fact, often, it is the speaker not wanting to be upset or show their feelings. Let's just skip along as though nothing has happened, and that is so unfair to the one experiencing the loss. I may be different than others, but I am willing to bet, not all that different. Lesson over.*

Last night at dinner with Brenda and Jimmie, we talked about a few things that made us laugh about Timmy. I recalled the time Jimmie was sitting at the conference room table, the first time Timmy had seen him without a cap on his balding head. Timmy was sitting on his dad's lap and asked him, "What happened to Jimmie's head?" It was also Jimmie's birthday that day and as we waited for the gang to assemble around the table to sing for him, I asked Timmy what song we should sing for Jimmie's birthday, assuming it would be the standard birthday song. Oh no, Timmy wanted to sing "Old MacDonald Had a Farm"! So, we did...

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Jimmie recalled that Timmy referred to Brenda as being Jimmie's mama, which, for some reason, really tickled Jimmie's funny bone! We recalled how Timmy would dress himself in outlandish, mismatched outfits, pointing to the blue stripe in his shirt and the blue square on his plaid shorts and say, "See? Blue, blue!". As far as he was concerned, he had a match! One of our guys, Frank, used to ask, "Dress yourself today, Tim?", as it was obvious I had not picked the outfit. One of our members from church also worked for us in the office before leaving to be director of the preschool. One day, Rebecca brought in a bunch of suspenders and clip-on ties for Timmy because he loved them so much. On uniform day at school, Justin got to wear a dress shirt and tie, but Timmy had to wear his school polo shirt----to which he clipped on a tie! I have that same shirt with a necktie attached in the memory box below his portrait in the hallway.

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One year for CHRISTmas we (Santa) got Timmy a bike, but it came unassembled. Another of our guys, Michael, got the dubious job of putting our childs' present together. Well, even though Timmy did not know Michaal had assembled the bike, he always asked Mike to put the chain back on or make the proper adjustment when something wasn't right.

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Another of our guys who used to work for us, Jim Hattaway, knew "Hurricane Hank" before he could even walk. In our old office, Jim would come in from the field and lift Timmy in his jump-up chair suspended in the doorway and would lift him wwaayy up with one hand, and let him drop. This brought great screams of delight from a previously bored infant. Jim only had so many of those in him though so the fun would soon stop. When Timmy learned to walk far too early, Jim's office and storage area was an easy mark for a little guy who loved to pull the covers off of boxes and strew the files around the room. That is why Jim, who never got mad, called him "Hurricane Hank". After Jim quit rather abruptly after a falling out with the boss, I didn't see or hear from him for a year. Finally he came back into my life and as I told my friends, "I can die now." I loved him and he loved me and my boys. At Timmy's funeral, Jim nearly passed out. It was hot, in January, and he had worn a white dress shirt with his suit, and the collar was so tight he could barely breathe. I told him he didn't have to wear that but he thought he should. The lady at the home inspection place where Jim then worked told me how hard Jim took the news about Timmy, and that she made dinner for him and hung out with him the first night, because he was so upset. I like knowing that about him, and about her.

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I am thankful to have a full day ahead of me, starting with Bible class and lunch with the church ladies. A good place to be. Justin is coming over here after work to do some vacuuming for us, because he works for his room and board, too, if you recall. And then we are going to have dinner at "Taste (Sweet) Tomatoes". We have to go sort of early so I am home again to attend the Board of Directors meeting this evening. We are having an attorney come to help explain the new condo laws and such, and their affect on us as an Association. I am hoping that doesn't mean more money but I am guessing it will. Ugh! Life goes on........maybe not "moving on" but going on.........