In December sometime, getting things ready for one of the parties hosted here, I had a little accident when taking a container of cookies from the freezer. The cover sort of let go, spilling some cookies which had the little colorful BBs pressed into them. Talk about a mess! The cats and I cleaned up the floor but some cookies poured out inside the freezer, which is drawer-style. Not having time to take that drawer all apart, I just left the cookies there---until today! Using the longest kitchen tool which would fit back there, out came the remnants of the cookies. The crumbs and BB mess will have to come out some other time. I wasn't up to standing on my head to get at the residue, it would wait until another day.
*While in the freezer drawer, monkeying around to get the cookies out, I spotted the zip-lock bag which holds two boxes of pancake mix, one container of drinkable "logurt" with dinosaurs on the bottle, and a box of whimsical corn dogs, sporting cowboy hats. Why would someone have such odd things in their freezer? They were Timmy's! When he died, it seemed important to keep as much stuff around as possible to remind us of him, including the pancake mix used on Saturdays when the boys made breakfast with their father. The corn dogs were left from when the refrigerator was stocked while their parents took a cruise in November 2000. It remains important to keep those things, even if they take up valuable space.
*Today I was searching in my kitchen cupboard for cold medicine, but I think Justin took it all for his drainage troubles. But I did find, rather, found again, the little measuring tube used to dispense liquid medicine to children, a bottle of baby aspirin, Flintstones vitamins, and dissolving grape-flavored cold tablets. Why are they still there? Why not? Every now and again, I'll look in the plastic bin where they are kept, and remember....
*Some might think it's not "healthy" but I can live with that judgment. I am not paralyzed by my grief, but instead grow with it, or away from it, much more than I'd have expected. There are reminders all over my house that tell about Timmy. And, some day, if I ever get busy on it, I will finish my book. In the meantime, though, in the freezer, near the crumbs and BBs, are remembrances of him, frozen in time.
This photo captures the true essense of Timmy, waiting for Justin's St. Johns bus in front of Childtime. Just look at that hair..........sort of like mine looks now!
4 comments:
OOOh Kim what can be more valuable then reminders of Timmy. You are doing what you need to do. After Dave died there were the little things I kept around not just for me but also for Jamie. He still has his dad's wallet. Of course after going throught he waashin machine it needed a little bit of duct tape but it is the symbol that means something.
Chopsosteel27@aol.com
11:28 am (9 hours ago)
I was not expecting to see Timmy's picture in your blog today and my stomach dropped when I saw it, not in a bad way, just in a missing Timmy way.
One day this past week I was heading out to go somewhere, and I saw a boy in a car. He was about the age Timmy would be now and when I glanced at him, my first thought was Oh...There's Timmy. When I realized what I thought, I smiled. It was a gift from God that my heart and mind could just assume it was him. Same hair and facial features, just on an older boy.
It might sound silly, but it made my day!
Thank for sharing your Timmy stories with us, especially those who knew him and remember so well. Your strength and faith are an inspiration to us so don't worry about what anyone says or things about remembering Timothy. It helps us all to think about how quickly life can change and wonder how we will react when it does.
I love you and hope you'll keep blogging!
Kim, I have to say something about the picture of Timmy...at first glace he looked like Manny! I couldn't believe the resemblance! God works in mysterious ways!
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